


you're always here to me, and i can always see you

by staywithme_13



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor Who References, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Time Travel AU, doctor who arc, it was based on a doctor who episode and i cant stop myself, jumper au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-07-29 20:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 34,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staywithme_13/pseuds/staywithme_13
Summary: The rule was: All Magnus' firsts would behislasts.And in the end, Magnus could never decide whether hindsight was a blessing or a curse.But of one thing he was sure: Even after all the pain and heartbreak that followed that beginning, he would still make the same choice.





	1. you have it all in front of you

**Author's Note:**

> look, i don't know what to tell you. this is out of control.  
> Quick notes: this whole fic is mapped out. i divided into 10 chapters, but it can change when im writing since i like to post chapters with the same word count.  
> There will be doctor who references all over it, but im not following a particular plot of the tvshow, but if one of you have watched it, you will probably recognize some scenes. i debated in tagging this as a doctor who au, but there's no tardis and no aliens, soooo  
> its mostly out of love for my two favorite tvshows. some things will be the same, others completely different.  
> most important: nothing it's what looks like :)
> 
> important stuff:  
> -in this world, nephilims, downworlders, and mundanes live together. everybody knows about everybody.  
> -bc of it, the accords were signed for the first time much early, bc, ya know, the chaos in such neighboorhood  
> -in the east, seelies were more well-accepted. in my head it makes sense since they are beings connected with nature and stuff. in the west, it's the warlocks, since their magic is so useful. vampires and werewolves are in the middle, i guess
> 
> i guess this is it for now. good reading!

A special thanks to [giucorreias](https://archiveofourown.org/users/giucorreias/pseuds/giucorreias), who is my beta and my dearest since 2014. I don't know what I would do without her.

 

" _we keep this love in a photograph_ "

2018

In all his years in this world, Magnus could never decide if hindsight was a blessing or a curse.

Magnus held the old journal on his hands as one would do to their most precious possession. It wasn’t far from the truth. The memories inside were from the happiest moments of his life and he would go mad if anything were to happen to these pages. Soon they would be the only thing he had left, after all.

Magnus had heard, once, him saying it: “All of his firsts are my lasts.” Magnus knew that it wasn’t exactly the case for himself, but it felt like it.

The man who gave him that journal knew exactly how many pages he would need.

It was almost full.

Would this be his last encounter with the greatest love of his life?

Last time, his love had been a stuttering and endearing mess, but they had held hands without hesitation and shared a delicate kiss. Magnus wondered if it had been the first in his companion’s point of view, but he didn’t dare ask. How could he? Torn between desperately wanting to know if his time was up and thinking that he would turn insane from the pain if he ever found out.

He wasn’t sure if he could handle the truth.

He had thought that he was ready to feel the pain that the ending of this beginning would bring.

He had been wrong.

* * *

 

1783

Magnus couldn’t really recall when, exactly, did he decide to run from his past.

He thought that he had done everything right. He had changed his name, the name that his mother had given him, long forgotten by the world as everyone that had known him in his old life died. He had moved away and away, and, even if the color of his skin gave clues to his origin, no one could really figure it out.

Magnus had really thought that he was safe and could move on.

It had been almost a century since the day he had banished his father and cut ties to all of that ancient history.

And yet, whispers were on the streets, worrying the government. There were talks about how the Clave had been called to investigate.

Edom is rising, the whispers said.

Magnus hoped they were wrong.

* * *

 

“There are shadowhunters in the city,” Catarina announced when they met for lunch on a Wednesday.

Magnus froze for one second before playing it off. There was nothing linking him into this, he had to remind himself. One would have to dig impossibly deep to find out and prove something that Magnus himself only suspected. For all he knew, it could be Azazel trying to pull a trick. But at the same time, the magic in his blood knew better.

“That’s unfortunate. The weather this time of the year is unbearable. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to finish my thesis.” Magnus took a sip of his tea.

“All you talk about is this deadline and I haven’t seen you touch a book in weeks.” Ragnor gave Magnus a pointed glare.

“Oh, hush, you.” Magnus pretended that his cup of tea was more interesting than indeed it was. “You are my professor only inside Spiral Labyrinth. Here, you are my personal nuisance.”

“Can the two of you take this seriously?” Catarina huffed. “They believe that there’s a portal and that that’s why there is an increase on the number of demons running around.”

“That’s impossible.” Magnus could help neither himself nor the scientist in him. “You can’t just open a portal to Edom and keep it open. The amount of energy that would require…”

“Unless it’s a greater demon opening it,” Ragnor chipped in with a whisper, deep in thought. “But it would have to be one on this dimension. I have never heard of someone opening a portal directly from Edom.”

Magnus felt his blood go cold with Ragnor’s words.

“But is it impossible or was it just never tried before?” Magnus did his best to maintain his voice even, and by the look of it, he had been successful.

“I can’t really say. I’m not the specialist in demonology on this table.”

“Yes. That’s what I said to the shadowhunter that came to the university.” Catarina smiled brightly at Magnus.

It took him a whole minute to figure out what that meant.

“Oh, please, tell me you didn’t!” Magnus could barely hide the edge in his tone. “Oh, Catarina!”

“Apart from the living fossils that never leave Spiral Labyrinth, you are the only one with enough knowledge about those creatures. And you understand demonic portals well enough to invent the spell that makes one!”

“Oh, Catarina, don’t flatter him, you know that goes right into his head!”

Ragnor and Cat kept bickering, but Magnus couldn’t hear a word. His mind had gone back to that fateful day where he had closed that door to his past.

He had closed that door and he would be damned if he was going to let it open again.

“I don’t want to be involved in shadowhunters business,” he said, putting a show of feigning boredom. “They are full of themselves and refuse to open up their minds to anything outside their sacred and dull rules. I bet you they will stab first and ask question later.”

“To be fair, if something is trying to get out of Edom, stab it may not be a bad idea,” Ragnor huffed, half amused. “But I get your point. They are always so obnoxious about what they don’t understand.”

“Well, letting something get out of Edom because warlocks and shadowhunters don’t get alone is incredibly foolish.” Catarina snorted, perplexed. “Besides, the only thing they want to know is where it is and how to destroy it.”

She rubbed her temple and Magnus just now noticed how tired she looked. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her blue skin was lacking its natural glow. Relations between nephilim and downworlders could be a work in progress, but the relations between people in power and women were non-existent. Just the fact Catarina had gotten permission to work was a miracle, the fact that she was able to be a nurse was extraordinaire, and he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for not being there for her in the recent times.

“Moreover, you have a great chance of being High Warlock someday,” she continued, grabbing his hand. “This is a great opportunity for you to build a good rapport with the Clave. Aren’t you always saying how much you wish to change things?”

“Sometimes you scare me with your cunning mind, dearest.” Magnus laughed, endeared.

“I often wonder why don’t you try being the High Warlock, dear Catarina.” Ragnor had a glint in his eyes and Magnus almost felt as if he was intruding something. “You would be ruling all of the shadow world in no time.”

“I prefer not to stress myself with misbehaved children like the two of you.” Catarina retorted, and Magnus was certainly not imagining the way she had preened under his praise. “Besides, why would I do all the work when I have the two of you to do it for me?” She turned her attention back to Magnus, her smile softer. “Will you do it?”

Oh, Magnus would be damned.

“Darling, we both know I can’t deny you anything in this world.”

* * *

 

He had been a child when his mother died. His step-father had blamed him and his demonic blood for it. He had said that it had driven her mad, that she couldn’t live with the fact that she had brought a half-demon into this world.

In the east, things had still been pretty bad, back then. That’s why Magnus had decided to start again, in London. The laws were far from perfect, but he could use his magic freely, go to college, have a job, and people couldn’t legally set him on fire or drown him.

Being able to breathe freely again, it had been a dream, but now he was afraid that the nightmare was about to start again. And that’s why he needed to find and close the portal before the Clave started to ask too many questions. Magnus had no illusions about what the Clave would do to him if they knew the truth, even more so if they thought he was somehow helping a Prince of Hell. The chance that they would at least let him try to explain was non-existent.

But it was okay.

Magnus had always known he was on his own.

* * *

 

The Clave had sent two Shadowhunters, Montclaire and Beauvale, to conduct the investigation. Magnus was puzzled by it. Surely the Clave had no idea what they were dealing with, or they would have sent an army. On an objective point of view, Magnus knew that it looked like a natural rift for anyone that didn’t know better. Warlocks had their theories, but their community had a crescent distrust for the Shadowhunters, so it was likely that the rumors hadn’t reached Alicante. Yet, Magnus’ paranoia didn’t let him feel any relief.

The Shadowhunters were on his library, going through books about rifts, while Magnus excused himself in the name of performing a spell to track its exact location. It was unnerving having them inside his home, he’d certainly have to move after this. Some could have expectations that someday nephilims and downworlders would live in peace with each other, but Magnus knew that he could never expect more than reluctant respect from those of angel blood.

“What are you doing?”

Catarina’s voice close to the Apothecary's door startled Magnus. He froze with his spellbook on his hand before exhaling and putting a smile on his face. She looked better, now, after a night of sleep, and fully capable to call him out on his behavior, if he wasn’t careful.

“Oh, my dear, I wasn’t expecting you,” he said with false cheerfulness.

“I can see that.” Catarina pointed out the mess on his desk. “For someone that didn’t want to help the Shadowhunters, you are going full in.”

“I still don’t wish to have contact with the shadowhunters.” Magnus closed the book on his hands, measuring his words. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t a truth either. “But you said it yourself, it’s a worrisome matter, and those two aren’t the brightest,” he huffed, quite offended. “Do you think it’s because they are mortals? Do they not have enough time to develop a proper brain?”

Catarina laughed hard at this, one of her hands going to her belly and wrinkles appearing around her eyes. She shook her head, in disbelief, and her eyes were so full of affection that Magnus felt something inside of him melt.

“You are something else, Magnus Bane.” It sounded like an accusation, but it had no heat. “So, where are we going?”

“W-what?” Magnus stumbled on the word, due to his surprise.

“You already have a theory about this.” Catarina smiled sweetly. “And I think it has something to do with this map.” Her forefinger tapped twice on the map partially hidden by a book.

“Nothing escapes you, isn’t that so, dearest?” Magnus laughed nervously. In the end, he didn’t like to lie to Catarina, so the least he could do was offer her a piece of the truth. “You don’t need to come. We are going to do some _reconnaissance_ and send it to the Clave. Then it will be their problem. Even if, truth be told, I will probably be called in to help with it regardless. I will let you know if it’s a job for two.” Magnus smiled and made a move to go back to his books, but she wouldn’t let it pass.

“Magnus.” Catarina stared into his eyes and Magnus almost recoiled. “I know you and I know when something is happening. If you don’t wish to tell me, that is fine, you don’t have to, but I shall not let you go alone.”

Magnus managed a small smile in front of his friend. If the situation at hand were different, he would have taken her help without an ounce of hesitation. Even let his walls crumble just a little bit more for her. Magnus already knew he would go to war for Catarina, but just now he realized that she would do the same for him.

“Dear, you are overreacting.” He tried to placate her. “Yes, I have been odd lately, but it’s nothing to worry about. Not even I know why I am so burdened. A little work is just what I need to distract myself.”

“Then we shall be distracted together.” Catarina didn’t even hesitate, but her smile was relieved. “It shall be enjoyable. It was ages ago the last time we did something together. Unless you wish for Ragnor to join us.” She smiled full of mischief and mirth.

“Oh, no. Let us leave that sullen man to his library. He won’t even notice us gone.” Magnus then opened the map, where several points were marked. “Those are places where wards are quite weakened, so I believe they’re a good assumption. I have a spell that can narrow down the search, but we shall have to do a few trips nonetheless.”

“I should better pack, then.” Catarina touched his cheek for a second before turning and going out by the door.

Magnus started to collect his things when a sound just above his head caught his attention. Looking up, he saw a paper in purple flames falling and he caught it in his hand.

“A fire message?” He had never seen  one with purple flames before. Magnus turned the paper, and a few coordinates were written with a simple ‘see you there xx’. “Is it some sort of code?” He looked at the map and the coordinates showed one of his favorite theoretical places for his father to be trying to raise hell.

So, it was a tip. One he couldn’t back away from. The person would be there and he needed to know what did they actually know.

With dread in his heart, he called the shadowhunters in his living room.

* * *

 

No one really knew when the old castle had been built. It was so old that most of the walls were in crumbles and Mother Nature was its only queen. For centuries, warlocks had used this space for sacred ceremonies, due to the wards between dimensions being weaker and enabling all sorts of rituals. But for the rest of the time, no one lingered there, since it was also a place with high chances of demonic appearances.

The perfect place to open a portal for a prince of hell.

“By the angel, it’s freezing!” Beauvale grunted, rubbing his hands together.

“I came here once twenty, thirty years ago.” Catarina hugged herself, her hands rubbing her arms for heat. “It wasn’t this chilly.”

“Well, I believe you might be onto something.” Magnus waved his hand in the air, liberating some of his magic, feeling it being sucked away. “Something is draining energy.”

“A portal?”

“I’m… not sure…” Magnus frowned.

“Then who might be?” Montclaire hissed, his eyes surveying their surroundings. “Are you not the specialist?”

“First of all, respect will take you a long way” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Second, it doesn’t feel like any portal I have seen before. They use a very specific type of energy, usually the energy of whoever is opening it. Whatever this is, it’s using all the energy it can find.”

Catarina frowned, biting her lip. “So, how do we close it?”

“First, my darling,” Magnus waved his hands and his blue magic formed a compass in his palm. “We find it.”

They walked together through the halls, shuddering every now and then with the chilly wind, the shadowhunters drawing their weapons for safety, and the warlocks couldn’t say they were wrong.

“I think we should go to the village after we’re done here.” Catarina broke the silence with a whisper. “I wish for some quality time with a fireplace.”

“We can try my portals again and go straight home.” Magnus smiled innocently, his eyes bright with hope.

“Magnus, I love you, but I shall never be part of your experimental spells again.” Catarina’s laughter flooded the desert castle and Magnus was so thankful she was there with him. Maybe this ordeal didn’t have to be so terrible.

“Last time wasn’t such a failure. Ragnor did recover his voice.” Magnus grinned like a cat who had just gotten the mouse. “Eventually.”

Catarina was about to respond when they heard a crack in the air. Magnus looked at his hand and his magical compass was spinning aimlessly, a strong wind coming from everywhere. He could almost feel a thunder ready to strike in the charged air

“What is this, warlock?” Magnus couldn’t identify which of the two shadowhunters was speaking. “What kind of sorcery is this?”

“It isn’t us!” Catarina snapped at him before turning to Magnus. “I mean, it isn’t you, is it?”

Before Magnus could even open his mouth, a fracture appeared out of thin air, light coming out of it, and then a bright and soundless explosion took place, blinding Magnus for a second.

“Holy shit,” Magnus heard a male voice. “When I think I’m getting the hang of it…” He blinked a few times, trying to regain full vision. “Oh, I’m bleeding.”

“Who are you?” Catarina asked, and from the little that Magnus’ vision allowed, he could see that she was also half-blind from the explosion.

Blinking a couple of times, he was finally able to see his surroundings again, which included the handsome man that was currently checking a cut on his arm — and what an arm, Magnus thought. He could stare at those biceps for the whole eternity and the fact that they came with a nice pair of shoulders and what looked like a strong chest from what he could see, even with those uncommon clothes that the stranger was wearing, definitely was helping.

“Oh, hello,” Magnus heard himself saying, with a voice full of mirth.

The stranger looked at him, and Magnus couldn’t help his own grin when the face of the handsome man just lit up with a smile and Magnus saw the loveliest hazel eyes.

“Hey.” The stranger breathed out. “I wasn’t expecting to see you this soon.”

“That doesn’t really explain much,” Catarina spoke, distrust very clear in every word. Magnus almost felt ashamed for completely forgetting that they were there for a mission, a very delicate and secret one, or for forgetting that Catarina was there too, for that matter.

“Oh, we haven’t been introduced yet.” The stranger almost seemed surprised, which was odd. “Sorry, time travel. Makes social life a mess. I’m Doctor Alec Lightwood.” He extended his hand for Catarina to shake, but she just crossed her arms. Alec then smiled a little embarrassed and recoiled his hand.

“Time travel?” Beauvale scoffed, one of his fists rubbing on his right eye. “You really wants us to believe in such a thing?”

“Well, we did see a crack in reality.” Magnus pointed out. “Furthermore, it is something that the shadowhunters have been developing covertly, using warlock magic, and, honestly, do they really believe that we don’t communicate among ourselves?” He mused to himself, making Catarina scoff.

“I’m giving you a warning, warlock.” Montclaire’s voice was full of barely concealed disdain.

“What can I say.” Alec pulled one of his sleeves, showing a complicated rune on his arm. He was too good to be true anyway, Magnus thought. He had to be a shadowhunter, and not just a pretty face dropped from the sky. “The Clave is surely shady, but I try to use it for the greater good. I guess we have to try to do our best with the hand we are given, or that’s what I have been telling myself. That’s why I’m here, anyway. I didn’t come this far to listen to some old, bigoted shadowhunters that were already dust and bones by the time I was born.” He gave a dirty look to the other two shadowhunters and then crouched near this huge backpack that Magnus hadn’t noticed until then, and pulled an old book. “And I assume that’s the same reason for you guys.” Alec then ripped off a page of the book and Magnus made a squeaky noise. “Sorry.” Alec sounded apologetic, but he was smiling. “Can’t give you the full book. It’s full of spoilers.”

Magnus got the page from Alec’s hand and read it with Catarina. It spoke of a spike in demonic energy on that place that then mysteriously disappeared. The page mentioned that this was an unique event that only happened that once in that place.

“If the Clave has this information, why did they send us to the warlock?” Montclaire was confused, reading from Catarina’s shoulder. “They could have just had us come straight here.”

“They have this information because you two came here first, dumbass. I told you, I’m a time traveler.” Alec rolled his eyes. “Try to keep up.”

“So you’re here to investigate this for… what? What do you have to gain from this?” Catarina approached Alec, but Magnus was only half listening, focusing on the little information that the page had.

“I’m an archeologist that can travel in time. Couldn’t resist.” Alec responded, but Magnus was busy, trying to identify any clue about this being about his father. “And Catarina, I’m really sorry, but there’s something I have to speak in private with handsome over there. It’s safer this way. Handsome, come with me for a bit.”

“Hm?” Magnus couldn’t think of anything that could eliminate demonic energy without leaving a trace. For what was being described, even after closing the portal, the place should be flooded with energy for months.

“I said: handsome, come with me, please.” Magnus then looked at Alec, who smiled at him before heading for a balcony nearby.

“Oh, I’m handsome.” Magnus turned to Catarina, who laughed.

“Of course you are, sweet.” She rolled her eyes. “I will be right here. Please, don’t trust his pretty face too easily.”

Magnus scoffed before following Alec.

He found the shadowhunter with his nose buried in an old journal, scribbling furiously in one of the last pages.

“Thank you,” Alec said, without looking up.

“For what?”

“The usual. For coming when I call.”

“So it was you who sent that message!” Magnus couldn’t even mask his shock.

“Of course, who else would it be? So,” Alec closed the journal, marking the page with his long fingers. Magnus barely had the time to process the facts that the shadowhunter was throwing at him. “I suppose there’s a reason for you not to mention knowing me back there.”

“A great good one, actually.” Magnus scoffed, stuck between confused and amused. This would be embarrassing for the looks of it.

“So, where are we? Should we do diaries?” Alec showed his journal, still closed.

“What?” Magnus blinked, completely confused.

“You don’t have one? It must be really early days for you then.” Alec laughed, but Magnus didn’t see any humor in the sound. Actually, the boy looked a little nervous. “Have we done Byzantium?” Magnus only blinked. “Clearly not. You are going to like it, it was a crazy day.” Alec opened the journal but held it in a position that Magnus couldn’t read the content. The shadowhunter seemed a little uneasy, and Magnus could understand why, even if he couldn’t fully understand the situation. It was all a little awkward, to be honest. “It’s... what? 1780-ish? So we can’t have done Paris yet.” He whispered to himself, biting his lip.

Alec was lost between pages, closer and closer to the final page. Magnus took the opportunity to study his features, wondering why someone so gorgeous had to be a nephilim. He could be polite, but Magnus had enough experience to know that polite shadowhunters were so just so they could take what they wanted in an easier way. Yet, Magnus couldn’t help but stare at how Alec kept biting his lip nervously, turning it redder. What a waste.

Then Alec looked up and Magnus, despite himself, felt his face heat up for being caught staring so shamelessly. But the Shadowhunter just smiled, his hazel eyes so warm and full of an emotion that Magnus couldn’t name, that he was compelled to come just a step closer. Alec then put a hand in his cheek and Magnus almost backed away, but that smile... Even while confusing the hell out of Magnus, it also had him glued on the spot.

“Look at you!” Alec whispered, his face full of wonder. It woke something inside Magnus. “You look so young.”

“Trust me, I’m not.” Magnus laughed, quite out of breath and, to his surprise, embarrassment.

“No, but you are! Your eyes.” Alec brushed his thumb along Magnus’ cheekbone. “You are younger than I have ever seen you.”

“You have seen me before, then,” Magnus said a little absently, still surprised by the sudden caress.

Then Alec froze, his smile slowly disappearing and the hurt that until then had been hidden behind those eyes coming to the surface with full force.

“Magnus,” Alec breathed his name and Magnus felt his own heart break a little for the boy. “Please tell me you know who I am.”

“Who are you?” Magnus couldn’t help but feel confused. Since Alec had mentioned so many encounters, Magnus could only guess that they would come to trust each other in some way in the future.

Alec pulled his hand back quickly, his eyes everywhere but at Magnus’. He turned away to fumble into his backpack, surely to hide the embarrassment.

“Forgive me, I shouldn’t have said it that way.” It was at the very least rude, Magnus had do admit. “It must be hard to travel in time, see a friend and realize that said friend doesn’t know who you are.”

Alec froze for a second, but then turned back to him, a discreet smile on his lips. Magnus could bet it was fake.

“It’s an understatement, that’s for sure.” He played with the strings of his backpack. “You wouldn’t believe all the embarrassing situations I have been through in this line of business.”

“For all that’s worth, you don’t need to treat me any different from what you are used to.” Magnus tried his best to put him at ease like before. The boy actually looked like someone that he could work with. “You must know, being from the future and all, I’m quite agreeable.”

Alec looked pained for a second, before laughing a little.

“Yeah, I know. You put me through some weird shit. You’re going to see it.” Shaking his head again, Alec changed the subject. “But it wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you, anyway. Although, this will be complicated since I can’t tell you much.”

“Why not?”

“Time travel has some rules. Time and space aren’t a single line, but more like a web. Every decision creates a new line on the web and this web is what holds the fabric of reality together. If I tell you something that can influence a future decision of yours, it can damage one of those lines.” Alec scratched the back of his head. “So if I tell you something or you tell me something about our futures, it gets set on stone, we can’t change it. I hope this makes sense, I’m not the greatest teacher.”

“No, you are doing good,” Magnus assured him. “It makes sense, everybody makes decisions based on what they know, after all.”

“That’s why we keep diaries, so we can keep track about where we are and how much we can tell each other. Next time you see me will probably be a version of me from my personal past, so…”

“It’s better to keep it vague?” Magnus arched an eyebrow, trying to follow Alec’s line of thought.

“Exactly. Unless it’s something small that doesn’t influence much. Or something we know we will have to do or say.” Alec then laughed hard, startling Magnus. “Oh, now it makes sense.”

“What?”

“On one of the last times I saw you, you were playing with this concept, I guess. You told me that I told you that great riches and mysteries were waiting for you in the future.” Alec’s eyes were wrinkled by his bright smile and Magnus shouldn’t find it endearing, but he was never one to follow the rules.

“And it does?” Magnus smiled coyly.

“Well, this I can’t tell you.” Alec licked his bottom lip before leaning in a little bit and whispering mischievously. “Spoilers.”

“But you had to tell me this because I told you you would?” Magnus blinked and tried to keep the conversation away for all flirtatious manners.

“Yes.”

“But now I shall tell you to say this to me because you told me I will?”

“Yes.”

“This is a nightmare.”

“It’s not that bad after you get used to it.” Alec shrugged, way too nonchalant to be real. “Yes, part of my social life is a mess, as I said to Catarina, but I’m doing what I love and eventually I’ll go back home to where things happen chronologically.” Then he took an envelope from his back pocket. “Here. I found this while I was doing some research a few years ago. I would have checked this before, but something was always coming up, and, well, the past isn’t going anywhere.” Magnus took a letter from the envelope and recognized Ragnor’s writing while Alec was still talking. “You never said much about this, after I first showed it to you. I had always assumed Ragnor was here and that something happened to him and got him hurt and you didn’t want to remember.”

In the letter directed to the Consul, Ragnor talked about the theories about portals and rifts and listed some hypothesis about how the energy in this place just disappeared.

“Why is Ragnor talking to the Clave?” Magnus was getting more and more confused by the second.

“Well, I have my theories, but I don’t know for sure.” Alec crossed his arms. “No one knows what happened in here. So I came to investigate. Big evil energy just gone? Definitely fishy.”

Magnus opened his mouth to respond, but he got interrupted by Catarina.

“If you two are quite finished with your gossiping, these two idiots are getting restless and I have no patience for this.”

“Sorry, I’ll go and talk to them.” Alec smiled apologetically and passed her by, going into the hall.

“So, who is he? What does he want?” Catarina was onto Magnus in a second. “Actually, what does he want with you?”

“Well, he is a time traveler.” Magnus almost laughed seeing Catarina roll her eyes. “But he is! Look at his clothes, how he speaks so strangely! He knows me from the future, I suppose we shall work together in some things. We might  even be friends.”

“You? Being friendly with a shadowhunter?” Catarina raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

“He is from the future, I assume there are evolved ones in there.” Magnus shrugged. “I think Alec is one I can deal with without having an aneurysm.”

“Fair point, I suppose. We can’t avoid nephilims forever, so it is best to find the less annoying ones.” Catarina laughed out loud. “Let us go back there, then. The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can go home.”

They returned to the group just to find Alec visibly trying to restrain himself from murder.

“Look, I don’t care about your outdated protocols. Everyone here wants to figure out what is going on, so get down from your high horse and play nice.” Alec’s tone was final, and Magnus couldn’t help but be a little impressed by his willingness to make them all into a team. It wouldn’t work, but it was nice to see someone was at least trying.

Of course, Montclaire wasn’t so thrilled, but before he could growl something back, the castle trembled. Magnus hit the wall and braced himself against it while trying to keep standing. He felt a rush of dark magic running around the place, and all of a sudden there was an explosion.

“Holy shit” Alec whispered and took something out of his belt that in a second turned into a bow. “Demons!”

Only then did Magnus notice the little creatures coming out of cracks on the walls, and cursed himself for not noticing before. Of course there would be demons. The portal did not have enough energy yet for the main event — whatever that would be — but those nasty little things could slip by easily.

The shadowhunters started to fight almost at the same time. Lots could be said about their race, but their willingness to face danger was remarkable. Catarina was making shields, forever a protector and a healer, so Magnus regained his balance and joined the fight, standing next to Alec, who was keeping most of the demons at bay with his impeccable aim.

“At this rate, we are going to be outnumbered sooner or later,” Alec said as soon as he felt Magnus next to him. “Do you know any safer place in this castle?”

Magnus blasted demon after demons in a hurricane of red magic.

“Next floor, there’s a room more defensible.” Magnus pointed out, slightly out of breath. “I can take us there, but it will take a considerable part of my magic and I really wishedd to save it so I could deal with whatever this portal is.”

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Alec took some small beads out of his pocket. “Which direction?”

“In your left there should be a room that leads to the stairs, what-” Magnus couldn’t complete his question before Alec threw a bead into the hoard of demons and another into the left wall, making an opening.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Magnus grinned and followed Alec into the hole in the wall, the others on his heels.

“Oh, you do.” Alec turned a little to direct a playful smirk to him, but before Magnus could dwell on it, Alec was back into investigator mode running to the stairs. “Those were asmodei, right?”

Magnus almost lost a step, but he was able to pull it through. He then guided the group into a huge library, sealing the doors one everyone was inside.

“Magnus, talk to me.” Alec approached, and Magnus saw Catarina ready to come to them, but he waved her away.

“I’m sure in the future we work well together, so you must know about my boundaries while dealing with nephilims.” Magnus said almost coldly.

Alec looked taken aback but quickly recovered. Yet, Magnus didn’t miss the hurt well concealed behind those hazel eyes.

“One day I will be someone you trust completely. But right now we are under attack and I can’t wait until you get there. So I’m gonna prove it to you.” Alec took a deep breath. “And I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”

Magnus then watched as Alec leaned in and felt his lips next to his ear. He heard the boy pronounce that word, and felt as if ice was flooding into his veins and the ground, disappearing under his feet. It had been more than a lifetime since the last time he had heard that word and he couldn’t help but imagine why would this shadowhunter know about it. Magnus was the only one… He had to be the only one to know. And yet…

“Magnus!” He snapped out of the mess that was his mind, looking into Alec’s eyes, who looked like the living image of guilt. “Are we good?” He couldn’t form the words. “Magnus, are we good?”

“Yes.” Magnus finally whispered back, still in shock.

“Good.” Alec then turned to the other two shadowhunters that were arguing between them. “I’m gonna get rid of them. They are useless in this anyway.”

In the following second, Catarina was on his side.

“What did the boy told you? You look like you just saw a ghost.” She put a hand on his face.

“Nothing.” Magnus shook his head, trying to clear it. “I’m just trying to understand all this time travel business.” Then he managed to do a quick resume about that Alec told him about it.

“Well, this is quite confusing.” Catarina frowned before turning and raising her voice so Alec, who was on the other side of the room trying to reason with Montclaire, could hear her. “But if it’s a fact that no one knows what happened here, doesn’t that mean that you won’t resolve it either? Wouldn’t this change history?”

Alec was genuinely surprised for Catarina speaking to him, but he beamed all the same.

“Well, that can be true, it’s possible. But time can also be rewritten sometimes. Some paradoxes resolve themselves, mostly. It’s a dangerous thread, but it can be done. And I’m good on my job.”

“How are you not mad?” She raised an eyebrow, but her smile was friendly and Alec basked on it. Magnus could relate.

“Who said I’m not?” He laughed briefly. “Anyway, if we want this castle back we need more help, so those two will have to go ask the Clave for back up. Unfortunately, this kind of magic won’t allow a fire message to get out. Say goodbye to our friends here for now.”

“There’s no need for the two of us go to send a message!” Montclaire was fuming.

“Well, if you want to go by yourself through an army of demons, be my guest.”

Montclaire was about to say something else, but Beauvale stopped him. “Let’s just go, Louis. He has a point.” Magnus could see it pained Beauvale to say so, but every pair had to have a sane one.

“I will open one of the doors for you two.” Magnus concentrated for a second. The right wing is completely infested, so I recommend you two go left.”

“I will go with them until the stairs, so I can have a better reading.” Catarina patted Magnus shoulder before guiding the two shadowhunters out of the room.

“So, the asmodei,” Alec started, but Magnus couldn’t think of this now.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I told you. I’m Alec Lightwood. I work at the New York Institute and-” Alec put his backpack on the floor and opened, trying to find something.

“No. Who are you to me?” Magnus crouched next to him.

“Spoilers.” Alec’s face was unreadable.

“Don’t give me that horseshit, I-” Magnus growled but stopped himself when he saw Catarina entering the room again.

“It was all a mess. They are breaking through walls, but I don’t think those things are coming here.”

“Then where are they going?” Magnus stood up, seeming beyond confused. “This doesn’t make any sense. Even when they were attacking, it was coordinated. But they don’t act like this unless there’s a leader, a greater demon leading them, and I’m sure a great demon didn't come through that portal. Moreover, who started this in the first place? This sort of thing doesn’t spontaneously happen.”

“Well, time to dig for clues.” Alec also stood up, holding something that Magnus immediately recognized.

“That’s my spellbook.” He made a move to take it, but Alec retreated a step.

“Your future spellbook, actually.” Alec opened but held it in a way that the two shocked warlocks couldn’t see a thing in its pages. “There are things in here you still haven’t learned or invented, so it's a forbidden reading for now.”

“Why do you have my spellbook?” Magnus squeaked, even though he would deny it later.

“You gave it to me.” Alec was still looking for something in it. “You said it would be useful.”

“That’s impossible.” Magnus felt sparks on his hands, his magic ready to break free. “A spellbook is sacred for the warlocks, I barely show mine to my closest friend. I wouldn’t give it to anyone.”

“Spoiler alert: I’m not just anyone.” Alec looked him in the eye. Magnus knew his magic was all over him, but Alec wasn’t afraid. “I didn’t steal it from your cold dead hands if it’s what you are afraid of. I guess I already proved how much you will trust me someday.”

And just the memory made his fury and distrust to simmer, even when he didn’t want them too. That boy knew too much, stared too much and made him feel too much, leaving a trail of confusion in his stride. Magnus could almost see himself hating him.

“If we can stay in the emergency on hand…” Alec hesitated for a second like he was testing the waters to see if it was safe to move on. “The only thing I can find that can relate to this situation.” Then he read from the spellbook. “Some rifts can not only allow demons to slip through but also work like traps. An unsuspecting person can be caught and be used as energy to feed the rift and make it larger.” Alec closed the spellbook. “It doesn’t say why it acts like this, though. Can  rifts be intelligent?”

“No, that’s ludicrous.” Magnus was deep in thought, and waved Alec’s theory with his hand, agitated. “That is, as a matter of fact, a theory on my thesis. Although in order to grow this huge, one would have to swallow a whole city at least, and there are none in here. There’s a village, but it’s a popular point for travelers, and everyone would notice if it was gone. So that cannot be it. Unless…” Magnus snapped his fingers, turning into his heels to face his companions. “The rift didn’t catch a mundane, it caught a downworlder. A warlock, for example.”

“But wouldn't a warlock recognize it for what it was?” Catarina followed his line of thought.

“Maybe the warlock thought they could manage it. Or maybe this was their plan all along.” Magnus brushed his thumb into his bottom lip. “Well, they must be dead now, so we can’t ask them anyway, we can only theorize.” He continued, distracted.

“But do you know how to close it?” Alec caught his attention back.

“Yes, of course, I believe so.” Magnus slapped his palm into the other and rubbed them together. “We simply need some opposite energy to neutralize this one. It may cause a severe explosion, though.” He paused for a second. “The village. It will be vulnerable.” He turned to the other two. “You two must go there, unite everyone in one place and cast shields over it. We shall not have time to get everyone out so it’s the best alternative.”

“What about you?” Catarina asked, worried.

“I shall be fine. I shall be in the eye of the storm, the most protected place of them all.” Magnus laughed charmingly then. “And honestly, dear Catarina, you know me. I can cast a shield over myself.”

“We better go then, Catarina.” Alec threw the spellbook into his backpack. “Even I can feel the energy now. It’s getting worse.”

Catarina didn’t seem so convinced but hugged Magnus anyway.

“You better come back to me without a single scratch, Magnus Bane.” Her tone was supposed to be threatening, but it had too much fondness.

“I will, dearest.” Magnus kissed her cheek. “You know I live to please you.”

“Oh, I can’t deal with you.” She slapped his shoulder, laughing. “I will see you later.”

“Dr. Lightwood, please, look over her.” Magnus turned to Alec, who had this strange look on his face, but Magnus couldn’t decipher. “One spell like this after having to fight her way out...”

“I will get her out of here and she won’t have to fight one single demon, I promise.” Alec seemed to battle himself for a second, then his eyes turned into steel. “If you die, I’ll kill you.”

Then they were gone.

* * *

 

Magnus ventured into the right wing stealthy, trying his best not to attract attention to himself. What he was about to do was already dangerous enough. If he wanted a chance to live after this, he would have to save his magic for it. Even so, it was no guarantee, but in the end, it didn’t matter. It was fitting, in a way. To die preventing his father to rise.

The rift was in the dungeon. With a flick of his wrist, the candles were lit. There was a crack on the floor, bright red. Otherwise, the room was ordinary. Just a place that someday held prisoners. He took a deep breath and knelt on the floor, starting to work. He put his bag on his side, taking the ingredients he needed and starting to draw a circle of incantation with it until a noise on his back caught his attention.

He turned while standing up, summoning his magic in his hands, ready to strike when he saw it was Alec.

“Calm down, it’s just me.” Alec raised both his hands.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus lowered his hands, then noticed that Alec was alone. “What about Catarina?” He didn’t bother in hiding the terror in his voice.

“Don’t worry, I got her out, she should be in the village by now,” Alec told him with a soothing voice. “We both agreed that she could handle that on her own, but you needed help.”

“Nonsense.” Magnus rolled his eyes and turned back to his drawing. “You two are paran-” Then he felt a crushing pain in the back of his head and everything went black.

* * *

 

Magnus woke up groaning, his neck killing him. All he could think of was a hot bath and maybe a good scotch. What did he even did to be in such pain? Then, he remembered.

Opening his eyes, he saw a complicated circle on the floor, far more complicated than the one he would have drawn. In an opposite side, Alec was giving it the final touches. He didn’t need to be a genius to know what he was planning to do.

“Oh, no, no, no! This is my job!” Magnus tried to get up just to find out he was bound to the grades of one of the cells.

“Really? So I’m not allowed to have a career of my own?” Alec grinned playfully watching Magnus struggle.

“Why am I shackled? Where did you even find such strange shackles?” Magnus tried to summon his magic, but it didn’t respond to him. Yet, he could notice it wasn’t something made to restrain warlocks, which just added to the mystery.

“They’re handcuffs and those are spoilers for you.” Alec winked at him. “I put a rune to temporarily block your magic, sorry.”

“There’s no such rune!”

“There is now. At least there is one for me. Very few people know about it, don’t worry. Some things are better kept in secrecy.” Alec then stood, admiring his handiwork. “I guess it is ready.” He checked into Magnus spellbook. “Yeah, I think this is it.”

“Don’t do this, you mustn’t!”

“Actually, my angelic blood is perfect for this. Unlike you, I don’t need a conversion spell. I just have to walk into it,” he stepped into the circle. “And light it up.” Alec took a lighter from his pocket.

“I have a chance of survival, you don’t have any, it will kill you!” Magnus pleaded, trying to reach the circle to undo it, putting a strain on his back, feeling the handcuff dig into his skin.

“You won’t have a chance and neither will I!” Alec retorted, his voice rising for the first time, made of steel and resolve, making Magnus pause. Then he laughed. “The funny thing is, this means you will always know how I’m going to die. Every day we spend together. Every second you will know that this is where I will end up.” Alec put a hand on his chest, just above his heart, his fingers doing the traces of something that Magnus recognized as a rune, but couldn’t make out which one. “The last time I saw you, the real you, I mean, the future you.” Alec raced into the words, just he couldn’t stop himself. “You turned up on my doorstep with a new haircut and a new suit and you took me to Darillium to see the singing towers. I never believed in those legends, but you took me there to prove it was possible and you did some sort of spell and the wind blew just the right way. And the towers sang and you cried. You wouldn’t tell me why but now I realize that you knew it was time. My time to come here. You gave me your spellbook and told me to keep it at hand.”

Magnus couldn’t take anymore, again struggling against his retrains and trying to reach the damn circle and stop that madness. He couldn’t think, he didn’t want to think about those words.

“There’s nothing you can do,” Alec spoke softly.

“You must let me do this!” Magnus screamed, begging.

“If you die here, it will mean that I never met you!” Alec shouted back. “I will lose everything!”

“You shall still have a life, you said it yourself, time can be rewritten!” Magnus pleaded, desperate.

“Not those times. Not one line, don’t you dare!” Alec growled, for the first time betraying his fear. It made Magnus stop and look, really look to that boy.

In the end, he wasn’t a boy at all. Alec was a man, walking to his death without an ounce of fear for himself. Walking into his death to protect a future that was his past, for a man that didn’t know him. Magnus saw a stranger that cared enough to die for him, and he couldn’t feel the same.

“It’s okay.” Alec crouched to be on Magnus’ eye level and smiled so softly, so full of affection. “You will see me again. You have it all in front of you. It’s not over. It’s just the beginning.”

“Dr. Light- _Alec_ , you knew my name. My birth name.” Magnus whispered sadly while Alec lightens his lighter. “Why did I tell you this? I can only think of one occasion that would compel me to tell you, and that isn’t to protect the fabric of reality.”

“Shhhh,” Alec beamed, full of secrets. “Spoilers.”

He let go of the lighter, that fell into the ground with a low clink. The circle lit up and Alec was surrounded by the flames. His screams were the last thing Magnus heard before everything turned to black.

* * *

 

Magnus almost couldn’t feel his legs. After Alec was gone, he had been able to get rid of the handcuffs easily. Yet, he didn’t move, still shocked about what he had just witnessed. It was in that spot Catarina found him, a couple of hours later.

“Magnus!” She cried, freeing him with a snap of her fingers. “What happened, sweet? Where is the shadowhunter?”

“He is gone,” Magnus whispered, slowing dragging his eyes from the spot where Alec disappeared into Catarina’s worried face.

“Gone? Gone where?” He saw when it clicked on her head. “Oh, darling. When he asked to come back to you I hadn’t the faintest idea that this is what he was planning to do.” She looked at the scene around her. He knew enough to have an idea of what happened there. “Poor child.”

“I killed him,” Magnus told her, his voice getting stronger. “Oh, God, I killed him.”

“What? No, you did not!” Catarina held his face in her warm hands. “Darling, he made his choice. He knew more than us, so he had his rea-”

“This is a specific circle of incantation. Very rare.” Magnus was feeling a little hysterical by the second. “He took it from my spellbook. The spellbook I gave him, knowing what he would use it for. And this me from the future will let him come here! Knowing all of this!” Magnus screamed, struggling out of Catarina’s hands, burying his own in his hair.

“You did not force him to draw it.” Catarina was firm. “You did not push him into it. You did not light it up. He made his choice, Magnus, and I shall be forever grateful for this, even if it that makes me a horrible person.”

“Do not say that.” Magnus pleaded, his voice full of anguish. “I do not wish to hear any of it.” Catarina dragged him to his feet.

“I know, sweet.” She kissed his face. “Let us get you home. Ragnor shall deal with this, I promise. You shall not have to think about it.”

Catarina guided him back to the stairs since Magnus was stuck on his own head to argue with her.

“Why did I have to give him my spellbook? Why?” He kept asking.

“Alec said it so himself. Once you know something is going to happen, you mustn’t stop it. It will have consequences. You were just following the rules.”

“Me? Following the rules?” Magnus would have laughed in another occasion, but now he could only snicker a little. “Have you forgotten who I am? I am the master of loopholes. There’s no rule I can’t-” Then he froze on the place.

“What? What it is?” Catarina scanned him, probably looking for an injury she missed.

“There’s no rule I can’t evade,” Magnus whispered to himself. Then he smiled to Catarina. “And I gave him my spellbook!”

He turned on his heel and ran back to the dungeon, Catarina following him closely. Magnus fell into his knees next to the place where Alec had abandoned his things, browsing through his future spellbook. It was full of stuff that he could make some basics of it, but it was mainly undecipherable.

“I haven’t the faintest clue as to why I would let him come here and not give him a way to be saved,” Magnus muttered to himself. “It must be something in here and I shall figure it out.”

“If someone can, that someone is you.” Catarina smiled. “Also, I suppose we should get rid of his things. To avoid facts from the future leaking. God knows what might happen.”

“Yes, you are right.” Magnus bit his lip, looking Alec’s backpack. “I shall do it. It’s the least I can do.” He took a deep breath. “Might I have a moment? I shall meet you on the stairs”

Catarina kissed his cheek and left him alone.

Magnus opened the backpack, organizing Alec’s things on the floor. It wasn’t much. Spare clothes. Some books. Some devices that Magnus could only imagine it was some kind of invention from the future. Alec’s diary.

He held it, tempted to open it. Yet, it felt like a betrayal. That wasn’t their story, it was Alec’s story. Magnus was only beginning his own journey, already scared of getting to know the man he just saw die. However, Magnus couldn’t get rid of it. It would be like killing Alec all over again. In a place where he had no friends. No one who would mourn for him.

He couldn't get the shadowhunter the funeral that he without a doubt deserved.

The least Magnus could do was preserve his memory.

Then, he kept the diary, putting it next to his spellbook. He burned the rest.

He stepped out of the dungeon and then out on the castle, out to the sunshine.

It was the first step into his future.

And Magnus was terrified of it.

 

* * *

 

 

You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/staywithmemalec). I guess I will track the #YAHTMfic tag or the #iamela (my name!)!


	2. life is just another thing to gift them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a revolution happening in the heart of France, but a bigger one was about to happen on Magnus' future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS HEEEEEEEERE  
> Look, in the last few months i finished my thesis so i could graduate, my notebook and my luggage got stolen (what made me loose lots of motivation), so im sorry for the delay, but i needed some me time
> 
> \- i did some research, but i took a LOT of liberties. to avoid spoilers i will talk more about what its true or not in the final notes, if anyone is interest  
> \- theres some elements from the bane chronicles series, but i didn't read the book, so, it may not be canon compliant, but none of this was supposed to be canon compliant. not even the actual piece of real history is totally canon compliant  
> \- pls, check the tags!! 
> 
> Im on twitter (@staywithmemalec, theres a link at the end of the chapter) and if you want to live-tweet, pls use the tag #YAHTMfic or #iamela, so i can see it!
> 
> Enjoy!

1787

 

For someone he had only met for a couple of hours, Alec Lightwood was impossible to forget. Magnus kept telling himself it was because of his sad ending, but sometimes he would catch himself thinking about those hazel eyes, full of an emotion Magnus couldn’t name. 

“What an extraordinary man,” Magnus thought to himself. 

But the years were passing and, no matter how much time Magnus poured over his future spellbook, he wasn’t any closer to understanding it than when he first got it. It didn’t make any sense. It had to have some clue on how to change what happened. This was slowly turning into an obsession. He left the city, put his studies on hold, all in the name of trying to figure out what should be right under his nose.

Catarina visited multiple times, trying to coax him out of his obsession, to no avail. The longer it went, the more they argued about it, until Magnus refused to talk to her any time she tried to approach the subject. 

It wasn’t that he was mad at her, but Magnus couldn’t help but hate to talk about Alec with anyone. It was a strange mix of dread, possessiveness and loneliness. There wasn’t anyone who could understand the grief he was feeling, and there wasn’t anyone who had the right to try to understand it either. Even knowing it was irrational to feel like this, Magnus couldn’t change his heart. And this just made him feel so lonely.

Magnus also couldn’t understand his own grief either.

In the end, it was Ragnor the one to pull him out of his misery.

It was the beginning of the summer, which meant the start of summer vacation, and Ragnor invited himself over for the duration of it.

“By all the angels of hell, you really know how to hide.” Ragnor grumbled while taking off his coat.

“That’s what you get for coming in without an invitation.” Magnus rolled his eyes, but laughed all the same. “I offered to make you a portal.”

“No, thank you.” Ragnor gave him a dirty look. “Since last time, I decided to only get close to one of those things after being submitted to an academic review. Any idea when this review will happen?”

“I didn’t really get us lost!” Magnus pleaded, exasperated and also avoiding the question. “It was the neighboring province! It could have been a lot worse.”

Ragnor paused, looking at him, just like he did when they were playing chess and Magnus made an obvious move. The unanswered question was hanging between them in the silence, but neither of them broke it. In the end, Ragnor smiled sarcastically and walked to the sunroom.

Both of them knew Ragnor was a patient player and they had the time.

* * *

It came sooner than Magnus expected.

“Magnus, I’m worried about you,” Ragnor said in the following afternoon, as they were drinking tea in the sunroom. “You left everything behind, even your thesis, your research! This isn’t healthy, you are wasting yourself away in here.”

“You don’t understand, Ragnor, you weren’t there.” Magnus barely looked at him. “There has to be a way. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.”

“You want to believe you aren’t a person who would let someone die without doing something about it.” Ragnor poured more tea into his cup, pronouncing the words with caution. He sent Magnus a pointed look, that went ignored. “But there’s nothing you could do then and there’s nothing you can do now. He is  _ gone _ , Magnus.” His tone was firm and final and Magnus didn’t want anything to do with it. “I do believe this spellbook must have something hidden that your future self sent back, or even something that protected Dr. Lightwood or it was useful to him somehow. I do. But, you know, Magnus, you  _ know _ . It’s impossible to bring back the dead.” His voice was full of concern for him.

“So what do you suggest that I do?” Magnus rubbed his hands over his face, for the first time feeling the tiredness in his bones. “Forget about it? And when I see him again should I just smile and pretend I didn’t see him die a painful death?”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” Magnus took a ragged breath, his mind going back to that dungeon. “I can still hear it, sometimes. How he screamed.” He put his closed fist over his lips, closing his eyes. “He  _ burned _ , Ragnor. There wasn’t anything painless about that.”

He was brought back to the present by Ragnor’s hand on his arm, a silent comfort but one that grounded Magnus all the same.

“It’s not only that,” Ragnor spoke softly, his eyes full of understanding. “You saw people die before. Hell, you felt responsible for deaths before. But you were never this affected, my friend. I never saw you so lost.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“We don’t know that. And even so, even if I don’t, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to take this off your chest.” Ragnor patted his arm, his hand still hadn’t moved. “Let it out, Magnus.”

Magnus laughed sardonically.

“I must look really pathetic if you are being this kind to me.” And he laughed harder in the face of Ragnor rolling his eyes again. “I’m not trying to deflect, I just… I don’t understand it myself.”

“Well, let’s try to figure it out together, then.”

“Why did he do it?” Magnus blurted out. “I try to reason with myself that it must be because of what he told me about protecting timelines, since I have to be alive in the future for whatever will happen when he meets me for the first time. And there are other times, too, apparently.”

“And what makes you think that there’s more than this?

“When he realized I didn’t know him…” Magnus rested his elbow on the arm of the chair, his knuckles tapping against his lower lip. “It broke his heart. It startled me so much that I just... brushed it off.”

“I thought Catarina told me he was a shadowhunter.”

“He is.”

“Well, it doesn’t make sense.” Ragnor frowned. “I don’t care how agreeable one person can be, the clave can’t have changed this much. Unless he actually is from thousands and thousands of years in the future.”

“I have no clue when he is from,” Magnus spoke mostly to himself, surprised by the obvious revelation. “I didn’t ask.” Alec died for him and the only thing Magnus knew about him was his name.

“Do you want to know my honest opinion about this?” Ragnor intertwined his fingers in his lap.

“I’m sure you will tell me either way.” Magnus barked a short laugh.

“You are getting ahead of yourself.” Ragnor sent him a pointed look. “You don’t even know how long it will take for you to be the man who wrote that spellbook.”

Magnus wanted to fight, to put his foot down and say he needed the answer now rather than later, but he knew it was childish. 

“Besides, you need to answer yourself the question you are avoiding.”

“What question?” Magnus turned to him, his confusion was evident.

“Oh, my friend,” Ragnor smiled, sympathetic. “It’s not about who are you to Dr. Lightwood, it’s about  _ who _ he is going to be to  _ you _ .”

“He is a man I saw die because of me, Ragnor.” Magnus’ tone was almost cold, but Ragnor didn’t flinch and his smile didn’t leave his face. 

“Let’s see.”

* * *

 

1788

 

It didn’t happen overnight, but Magnus did return to the city. Ragnor was right, after all: He didn’t have a clue about how to read the spellbook, so he had to return to his studies. 

And that was when it happened again.

Magnus had been trying to steel himself for his next encounter with Alexander Lightwood. He spent hours imagining how would be. If he would be able to hide his guilt. If it would be just as dangerous as last time. If they would have time to properly talk.

Then, when it happened, Magnus could help but feel… a little underwhelmed.

He was walking home after lunch with Catarina, when he heard fizzling sounds in the air. He looked around, but by the time he saw the bright fracture, he was already out of time to react. One second he was walking in the sidewalk, the next, he was on the ground, pinned by the weight of a body that had fallen above him.

“Oh, well, it looks like you caught me again.” Magnus’ heart almost stopped when he recognized that voice.

“Dr. Lightwood!” Magnus choked up, trying to sit up, but only managing to bump their heads.

“By the angel, when you told me you weren’t very smooth on your youth I didn’t think you meant like this.” Alec put a hand in his forehead, getting off Magnus and allowing him to sit. “Wait, what year is it?”

“It’s September of 1788, why?” 

“Dammit, I’m on the wrong date!” Alexander got up, pulling up his sleeve to show the time travel rune. Maybe Magnus should ask how it was actually called. “I have to go.”

“Already?” Magnus got up too, so fast that he almost lost his balance. He would have, but Alec lent him a hand to help him stabilize himself.

“I would love to stay and talk, but it’s kind of an emergency.” Alec looked so apologetic that Magnus couldn’t help feel even more frustrated, so much so that he didn’t notice how gently Alec was holding his hand. “I wish I could tell you why, but… spoilers. You will find out soon enough, I promise.” He let Magnus go and took his steele, starting to activate the rune. “I hope I get it right this time.”

And then, with another snap, he was gone.

Magnus stood there, looking at the place where had Alec just disappeared from.

“Well,” Magnus closed his mouth, that had been previously open like a dead fish’s. “That was… interesting.”

* * *

Magnus didn’t really know why he didn’t tell Ragnor or Catarina about his brief encounter with Dr. Lightwood. Maybe it was part of his possessiveness over all this. He couldn’t rationalize it, but it felt wrong to share whatever was going on.

After that brief encounter, Magnus realized how much he not only had dreaded it, but also waited for it. Those contradictory feelings would be his demise. Sometimes he couldn’t help but imagine what could have been if Alec had just been an ordinary man that Magnus met around the city. Magnus always tried to be discreet about his dalliances with men, always tried to make sure his companion would welcome his advances and would also be cautious. The last thing Magnus needed was the Clave  _ and _ the Church after him. 

So it was a shock to see a shadowhunter somewhat flirting with him. Magnus remembered how Alec’s voice sounded, calling him handsome in front of fellow shadowhunters. Lightwood was a prominent family, and even without knowing anyone from that family, Magnus had heard of them. Yet Alec barely flinched before doing something that would no doubt create some unwanted talk about his family.

In any other situation, Magnus would’ve have gone for him. But being involved with shadowhunters, even just as acquaintances was more trouble than was worth it. Even if they were honest and good in their core, their loyalty would always belong to the Clave, an institution that was probably broken beyond repair. No matter how sympathetic Alec seemed, it was a door that Magnus would never cross. It tasted too much like danger, and risking things for shadowhunters never ended well. 

And yet, in the future they will share something. Maybe an understanding about all that was wrong in the word would lead to a deep, mutual respect.

Looking at Alec’s diary, even without opening it, seeing the rumpled pages, the worn cover, it was clear how many times it was used. And yet, there was something pristine about it. It looked like someone’s favorite book.

So, talking about Alec felt like betraying a secret, a secret he didn’t know yet, and didn’t even know if he wanted to know anyway.

Ironically, every time he rubbed his thumb over the diary’s cover, he felt the temptation to just open the damn thing and get it done with it. It was usually then that he knew it was time to put it away in his vault and try to clear his head.

So he usually either studied or went out, trying to distract himself with other people. That was one of those nights.

And, soon, it turned into the night he met Count Axel von Fersen.

* * *

The Count was, unlike himself, a politician first, a scientist second, even if his knowledge of science would put so many to shame. 

“You should explore Europe, my friend,” Axel sipped his wine. “Things are changing, it’s the Age of Reason!”

“Oh, I heard all about it. I’m surprised that so far only America has called to arms.” Magnus very much preferred to drink on Axel’s beauty. “It’s my understanding that you were there.”

“Yes, I got back five years ago. I ventured for some countries, but I always return to Versailles.” Axel smiled fondly, his blue eyes looking into the distance. “There’s something about Paris that feels like home.”

“I have been there a couple of times, but unfortunately just in passing.” Magnus circled his glass with his finger. “Perhaps I should change that. The way you talk about it makes me curious about what caught your heart.”

Axel paused for a moment, looking at him. Magnus couldn’t really believe how blue those eyes were, and didn’t miss when they dropped to his lips for a fraction of second. The exchange was quite charged, and Magnus could feel his heart beating faster because of it.

Then the Count smiled again.

“You, Mr. Bane, are really a bold man.”

“I see myself more like an honest one. If I chase what I want, maybe there’s a chance I’ll be able to have it.” Magnus shrugged, pretending shyness. He could see Axel wasn’t fooled.

“From what I can see,” Axel licked his bottom lip. “Your chances are pretty good.”

* * *

 

1790

 

Routine returns to everyone in the end, even if different from before.

Magnus’ days were dedicated to his studies, to his obsession with his future spellbook, and his growing friendship with Count Axel von Fersen.

They regularly exchanged letters, and, from time to time, they even met in social events. Unfortunately, those events were too filled with people that were as important as they were judgemental, so it was no place for indiscreet talks or indiscreet feelings.

That night they were at Arlon, and Axel was trying to obtain support for the French Crown. The revolution was in full swing, and he had put himself right in the middle.

“I have to say, I have been worried about you,” Magnus told him when they were on the balcony, some other gentlemen smoking at a close distance. “Since the Storming of the Bastille things are just getting worse and worse.”

“I know.” Axel pressed his lips into a tight line, looking around before continuing. “I have been trying to convince the Royal Family to leave Paris, at least until everything calms down, but His Majesty doesn’t seem too fond of the idea, and Marie won’t leave without the King.”

“Well, I can’t say I don’t understand her reasoning.” It wasn’t the first time that Magnus noticed the casual way Axel sometimes referred to the Queen of France.

“I do understand her, but I wish she was more persistent in convincing him. We need to fight this revolution off.” Axel tapped his fingers in the balcony, distracted. “We can’t get the support we need from Paris and things are starting to get out of control.”

As far as Magnus knew, things had been out of control for some time, but seeing the distress in Axel’s face, he thought it might be better not to point it out.

“If things are this bad, soon enough they will see reason, my friend,” Magnus tried to placate him. “And who knows, maybe things will calm down on their own.”

“I guess it is what many noblemen expect.” Axel rolled his eyes, but then he smiled, softly. “It is good to see you again, Magnus. I missed our conversations. I know it seems like a bad time, but I often caught myself wanting to invite you to Paris.”

“I’m sure I would have an splendid time, but I don’t want to occupy the time you should spend taking care of this mess making you play host.” And yet, Magnus could barely hide the delight in his voice.

“I’m sure we can make it work.” Axel laughed. “Besides, I would like having you near.”

“And I have to say, hearing so much about Paris is making me very curious.” Magnus took his hand to his ear, scratching behind it. “Maybe I should think about a visit.”

“I can barely wait for your decision.”

* * *

 

1791

 

A few months later, Magnus received one letter from Axel with a more urgent tone. Usually, their correspondence had fun tales about the court and clever ways to leave Magnus flustered, but this one betrayed his growing concern for the situation in Paris.

“I have to go there,” Magnus announced abruptly during lunch with Ragnor and Catarina.

“I told you he would do this.” Without a beat, Ragnor turned to Catarina. “Once a fool, always a fool.”

“What do you mean by that?” Magnus was too shocked to be offended. “Why am I a fool this time?”

“Well, dear, from our point of view…” Catarina started, but got interrupted.

“He is baiting you.” Ragnor crossed his arms.

“I would say that this… friendship isn’t really equal, is it?” Catarina continued without acknowledging Ragnor’s bluntness. “He does seem very charming in his letters, but don’t you find it weird how dedicated he is to a country that isn’t his own?”

“It’s not to France he pledges his dedication to, my dearest,” Ragnor scoffed, throwing his head back with the movement. “And Magnus is a clever one, he knows what we are talking about.”

“I think you two are reading too much into this.” Magnus rolled his eyes, feeling a little more at ease now that he knew his friends’ concerns. “I do like Axel, but I also feel genuine friendship towards him. If he thinks I can help, somehow, I’m happy in doing so.”

“What do you mean?” Catarina’s wine glass was halfway to her mouth when she interrupted herself. “He asked for your help?”

“I didn’t want to say anything because I knew you two would react like this. I’m not setting myself up for heartbreak, I assure you. I’m fully aware of Axel’s feelings.”

“That doesn’t make your heart unbreakable, Magnus,” Catarina chastised him. “The rumors about him and her majesty are only growing.”

“People like gossiping,” Magnus retorted.

“And you like to close your eyes to avoid seeing the inevitable.” Ragnor took a deep breath. “We just hate to see you heartbroken, and I hate to see how often it happens because people don’t know how to take care of your heart.”

Magnus smiled softly to his old friend, knowing that behind Ragnor’s often grumpy expression there was profound caring for his loved ones, and Magnus felt so lucky for being one of those.

“I know you mean well, Ragnor, and your caring words alone are enough to make me feel better, even in my worst heartbreak.” 

“So how come I am constantly being dragged on trips to soothe your broken heart? Next time I will do nothing but talk to you, then.” Ragnor mumbled, in a bad mood, making Catarina and Magnus start to laugh.

“Still angry because of Peru? Scared of the big bad monkey?” Catarina cooed, and Magnus had another laughing fit.

“Very funny, Catarina,” Ragnor deadpanned. “You should consider becoming a comedian if you grow bored of being a nurse.”

“Don’t be a bad sport!” Catarina hit him on the shoulder. “And you,” she turned to Magnus, her finger angled to his face. “How about you be careful with your heart for once in your life?”

“Where’s the fun in being careful?” Magnus winked and laughed again, while Ragnor groaned in despair. “But I’m no fool. He is a nobleman, I know that nothing too serious can happen, he would probably be burned in some pyre.”

“Well, it’s impossible to make you see reason. By all means, go!” Ragnor was half exasperation and half annoyance. “And please stay for a couple of decades, I could use some time without your flair for dramatics.”

“I give you six months before you start fussing about Magnus coming back home,” Catarina teased. “You are worse than a concerned mother.”

Ragnor stared at her for a full minute before saying: “How dare you.”

Magnus burst laughing again, knowing fully what that spark in Catarina’s eyes was.

* * *

Magnus was packing, after writing to Axel about his upcoming arrival in Paris. His clothes were already in his trunks, and what plagged Magnus’ mind was what books to take with him. The idea of taking a position in the Spiral Labyrinth was more and more appealing each day, even if Catarina kept bugging him about him being a High Warlock. As if he needed more drama in his life.

He opened his vault, half-set in taking a rare book so he could work in his application during his trip when he saw Alec’s diary. Magnus couldn’t really pinpoint the moment he decided to leave it there. The sight of it was enough to fill him with guilt and longing for answers. He wanted to know who that boy was, but, if their last encounter was any indicative, not every meeting would be long enough so they could talk.

Magnus didn’t know if that was for the worst or for the best.

Taking the diary in hands, he sat on the chair next to the window. His fingers ran through the design of the cover, the raised lines shaping flowers that struck a remarkable resemblance to forget-me-nots. He wondered if it had some meaning for Alec or if he had picked it at random, not caring for the cover at all. He wanted to open and read what Alec thought of their brief encounter two years ago, but he didn’t trust himself to stop reading. Also, Magnus didn’t know how Alec kept his entries in order, so he probably would have to do some digging to find it and this would only lead him to read the whole journal.

It was ironic that all the answers he was seeking were at his hands, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to get them.

“Being obsessed with you won’t do me any good,” Magnus whispered to the diary. “But how can I let you go?”

* * *

Paris was indeed beautiful. 

Magnus rented a house in the City and fell immediately in love with the garden. The fence around the property was tall and the gate was taken by green leaves, offering privacy to whoever was sitting inside. The garden was a little heaven.

“That’s a marvelous place you have here,” Axel commented, on his visit an hour after Magnus let him know of his arrival. “If I had known of this house I would have bought it.”

“I might just do it. I’m very impressed.” Magnus showed him a bench, inviting his friend to sit beside him. “How are things on court?”

Axel considered him for a moment, and Magnus felt his lips tugging into a small smile.

“I shouldn’t be telling this to anyone, but…” He licked his bottom lip, giving Magnus a coy smile in return. “A plan to take the royal family away is in motion. We have a few details to decide, but in a couple of weeks everything will be set.”

“I’m glad, you have been so worried about all this!” Magnus rested his hand on Axel’s arm, thankful for their privacy. 

It occurred to him a little too late that that was the first time they were fully alone, not just talking on a corner in someone’s party, and his gesture could be a little too forward, but then Axel covered his hand with his own.

“Yes, and I owe you an apology. I must have been unbearable in my letters. It’s just…” Axel laughed to himself, then looked into Magnus’ eyes. “It’s easy talking to you.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Magnus’ heart was singing. “You don’t imagine what sorrow I felt in not being able to be more helpful. But I’m here now, at your service. Either to be a friendly ear or anything else you need.”

“You are a gift from heaven, Magnus Bane.” Axel beamed. Then he looked away, embarrassed. “I must say, when you told me you were coming I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t bother you with politics and the revolution and just enjoy our time together…”

“But?”

“But I must confess that I might need your creative mind.” Axel seemed so troubled that Magnus couldn’t help but want to hold him, barely containing himself. “What we need it’s a disguise for the royal family, but nothing seems good enough, and if someone recognizes them before we get to Montmédy…”

“Oh, Axel, don’t you worry, I have the perfect solution for this.” Magnus took his hand between his own. “I can glamour them.”

“You can what?” Magnus laughed at the startled question.

“Glamour them. It’s a spell that can disguise someone. It won’t last for too long, but I’m sure that I can cast one that is powerful enough to last the whole trip. How far is it?”

“We hope we can get there in one night, one day at most.” Axel looked at Magnus like he held all the answers from the universe. “Can you really do it?”

“Of course. Who do you take me for? You know I’m a scholar.” Magnus circled his thumb on the back of Axel’s hand. “And it will be my pleasure to help the royal family.”

“I will make sure you will be rewarded, Magnus, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I can think of some ways I would like my reward, Monsieur.” Magnus almost purred, pleased with the reaction he was getting.

“You are something else.” Axel laughed freely before leaning in for a kiss.

It was a brush of lips, but the way he looked at Magnus was a promise.

“Do you have to go, or…” Magnus let the rest of the question trail off.

“Well, I can imagine a place I want to visit if your staff is discreet enough.” Axel whispered against Magnus’ lips.

“Well, you are in luck.” Magnus kissed him hard for a second. “I don’t have any staff.”

* * *

Although there wasn’t anything Magnus would wish more, he couldn’t stay isolated at home with Axel. So when the Count had to be on court, Magnus enjoyed some walks around the city, trying to avoid the spots where the rebels usually did their meetings, at Axel’s orientation. Apparently it was common for altercations to happen and Axel didn’t want Magnus to be caught in the middle.

So, during his first two weeks in Paris, he didn’t see anything other than some gatherings of people commenting the revolution while having something to drink, and, if it weren’t for the exalted voices, Magnus could almost believe that things were settling down.

Then, one day when he decided to take a walk before going to the Tuileries Palace, he saw a rally of sorts, with some men in a sorted stage that seemed like it was built at last minute. But what made him stop in his tracks weren’t the words the angry men were screaming to the excited crowd. 

Alec was there.

Magnus couldn’t believe he had almost missed him. He saw him in a slip of second, when people were moving around, and, yet, Magnus spent so much time obsessing over the two times he had seen Alec Lightwood that he had his profile committed to memory. 

How long had Alec been there? How long had they been in the same city, unaware of each other?

Magnus shook his head. “No.” He thought to himself. “I’m here for Axel. Whatever Lightwood is up to will have to wait.”

He was ready to turn on his heels and go his merry way when again the crowd cleared, and, this time, Alec turned his head.

And Magnus was once again feeling too much at once to name any of the emotions going through his heart. All of this because Alec Lightwood was looking at him with so much unaltered joy.

“Magnus!” Alec screamed above the crowd, jogging to him, and Magnus truly wanted to turn around and never see him again, but his feet were glued to the ground. Alec stopped in front of him, his head blocking the sun, giving him a golden halo. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting a friend.” Magnus answered shortly, crossing his arms, feeling suddenly vulnerable. “And you? What kind of trouble are you up to?”

“None, actually.” Alec shrugged. “I’m just studying.”

“Is this mess an important historical moment?”

“Spoilers.” Alec laughed freely. “But can’t you see already? All those nobles are watching their backs because of what is happening here.”

“You say it like this is a good thing. What good can a country in chaos bring to their people?”

“Sometimes what people need isn’t stability, but change. Stagnation takes you nowhere.” Alec turned to look at the crowd. “They weren’t happy about how things were being handled, so they took action. Don’t you find this inspiring?”

Magnus couldn’t help a small grin. “You surely do.”

“Oh, yeah, I think this is one of my favorite moments in history.” Alec leaned a little closer, still half turned to the mass of people. “Just a bunch of people telling the king to fuck off.”

“Oh, dear Lord, Dr. Lightwood, you could get yourself in a world of trouble if someone heard you saying this!” Magnus let out a short laugh, looking around to check if someone was eavesdropping.

“Nah, you wouldn’t snitch on me, would ya?” Alec took another two steps and then stood beside Magnus, looking at the rally.

“You speak so strangely, I wonder if I shall ever get used to it.” Magnus rolled his eyes, then remembered something. “Can you tell me when you are from? I have been asking myself this for ages, but it’s not like it’s something I can simply guess.”

Alec reflected on the question.

“I don’t think I can give you a straight answer.” He bit his lip for a second. “I’m from a couple of centuries in the future.”

“Well, that’s helpful.” Magnus deadpanned. He expected Alec to laugh, but instead, a strange sorrow took over his features.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you already explained to me all about how much information is too much information.” Magnus almost touched his shoulder, but halfway through the movement, he stopped. “It was just a silly curiosity.”

“There’s so much I want you to know.” Alec kicked some pebbles with the point of his boot, and Magnus found the action a little adorable. Maybe too adorable. “Sometimes all of this time-travel thing is a pain in the ass.”

“I do imagine it must be really inconvenient.” Magnus shook his head. “At least that was what you told me when I first saw you.”

Magnus then froze, not meaning to have said that. It didn’t help that Alec turned to him so fast, his gorgeous hazel eyes wide open. They both stood there, not moving a muscle. Alec looked like he wanted to ask something, and Magnus could only beg to any deity available for that to not happen. He didn’t want to deflect, he didn’t want to lie. Hell, he didn’t even want to be there, standing with Alec in the middle of Paris.

“So,” Alec broke the silence, taking a deep breath and faking a cheerful tone. “Who’s this friend of yours? Maybe he is someone I heard about in class.”

“Maybe.” Magnus felt a little breathless because of the tension. “Count Axel von Fersen, he’s been doing some great accomplishments.”

“Really?” Alec smile was the picture of a cat who got the cream, as he pronounced the word with care. “Oh, I heard about him. I can’t tell you why, though, but it doesn’t matter, you will know very soon anyway.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it that he has a place in the history books. I hope it paints him in a favorable light.”

“It depends on the author.” Alec paused, seeming to weight his next words. “Historical facts can’t be changed, but sometimes things get lost in translation. That’s why the academic world is always fighting about something.”

“Oh, tell me about it.” Magnus scoffed. 

“Are you going to visit him in the Tuileries?” Alec was playing with one of the straps of his backpack.

“In fact, I am. Why?”

“Well…” Alec dragged the word. “You probably will portal there. I wanted to ask if I can tag along.”

“Are you insane?” Magnus’ expression must have been pretty funny if the way Alec had to control his smile was any indication.

“You won’t need to babysit me. I just need an easy way to get in. I never got the chance to see the Tuileries in its full splendor.”

“What happened with the Tuileries in the future?”

“It…” Alec paused one more time, before continuing, in a more hesitant way. “Changed?”

“I don’t wish to know.” Magnus shook his hand in front of his face. “And you will not go into the Tuileries. Like you must have noticed, this is not the time for a tour in the palace. Besides,” he couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated, “I have no reason to help you get inside.”

“That’s…” A complicated emotion passed through Alec’s eyes, but it was gone in a second. “Fair.” He gave a polite smile. “I’m sorry for asking, I didn’t mean to put you in a hard position. Or your friend, whom I imagine you got an invitation from.”

“That’s correct.”

“And I shouldn’t stall you, if you are going to the Tuileries, it must be because of…” Alec looked around, before whispering. “The big event coming up.”

Magnus opened his mouth to deny, but then he closed, smiling wryly.

“Of course, being from the future, you know.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you knew, but it was worth the shot.” Alec shrugged. “It’s the reason I’m here. Lots have been said about this, but routes and other details are always subjects of dispute. I had some time off, the time rune… Why not to come and see for myself?”

“God help us all if all the scholars in the future are like you.” Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Don’t judge me!” Alec fumbled, reaching for something in his pocket, in the end taking a strange device that shined. “Anyway, I have to hurry up with this. It will be tonight, right?”

“I don’t think I should be telling you…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m from the future, remember? Are you going in the trip?”

“No, I’m not. Axel thinks the fewer people, the better. I will merely assist with a spell.” Magnus took his pocket watch, wishing to start making his excuses.

“That’s too bad, I heard that Fromentieres is quite nice.”

“I was more excited about Châlons, but the safety of the royal family comes first.” Magnus forced a smile.

“Well, I won’t hold you any longer.” Alec took a step back. “Take care, Magnus.”

“Take care, Dr. Lightwood.” Magnus suddenly felt sad for saying goodbye, but he reigned himself. “I hope you find the information you are looking for.”

“You don’t need to call me that, Alec is fine.” He was already walking away. “I have a good feeling about today, don’t you?”

Seeing each step Alec took, Magnus wasn’t sure if he could say the same thing.

* * *

Magnus was eating his breakfast when he heard the commotion outside. He didn’t want to get up, but the voices were getting louder, and his curiosity got the best of him. 

With a snap of his fingers he got dressed and walked outside, only to find chaos on the streets. He didn’t even need to ask what happened, everyone was talking about how the royal family got arrested trying to flee from France.

“Oh no,” Magnus looked around, seeing all the betrayed and perplexed faces. He needed to check up Axel.

Magnus took Axel’s handkerchief, a memento he left behind during his last visit, from his pocket and tracked him. He didn’t recognize the place enough to open a portal, but he knew the little town and opened a portal to the center of it, deciding to look for Axel by foot.

In the end, it didn’t take any time at all.

“Axel!” Magnus saw him in the minute he stepped away from the portal, the Count taking the reigns of a horse. “I just heard the news.”

“You told me the spell would hold on until they were safe!” Axel hit Magnus in the chest with his finger.

“Don’t.” Magnus held his wrist, shocked by his behavior. “Are you mad? My spell didn’t fail.”

“Well, someone recognized them. And I have been told that whoever it was used some sort of magic wand to break your spell. It seemed like it wasn’t that good.”

“Magic wand?” Magnus was confused for a second, but then it dawned on him. “Lightwood.”

“You know who did this?” Axel grabbed Magnus by the shoulders. “Who?”

“A shadowhunter, you won’t be able to touch him.” Magnus shrugged Axel off. “You didn’t tell me the nephilims were involved.”

“They aren’t! Maybe it’s a deserter.” 

“Shadowhunters don’t have deserters.” Magnus ran his fingers through his hair, tired. “There’s nothing to be done about it.”

“Hell if there isn't.” Axel turned to his horse. “I have to reach Marie.”

Maybe it was his encounter with Alec in the day before. Maybe it were the days when all Magnus wanted was Axel attention, and yet, the Queen of France was an ever presence between them. Maybe Magnus was just tired of feeling so confused all the time and it made him utter an honesty that he wouldn’t have dared otherwise.

“She won’t love you back, my friend.” Magnus took a deep breath. “She can’t. She has a kingdom to take care of. Why run after her when you know how little you will gain in return?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Axel mounted the horse. “You are the one who came to Paris knowing how I truly feel.”

Magnus shouldn’t feel this slap so harshly, since it was true. He knew. He knew and he had told himself that it wouldn’t hurt, since he truly  _ knew _ . What he was just realizing, now, watching Axel guiding the horse to the road,  is that he had hoped he was wrong.

* * *

When Magnus stormed into his own bedroom, he had only one goal: to use Alec’s diary to track him down. As it turns out, that was easier said than done.

Magnus didn’t know how to read the energy he was receiving from the journal. At first, he thought that Alec had returned to his own time, but he also was fairly sure that he felt a connection to Paris. Maybe Alec’s situation as a time-traveler required a different tracking spell, since his position in time and space was so ambiguous. But it wasn’t the time to be fascinated by it, Magnus had some business to settle with him.

It may have taken a couple of days, but Magnus tracked Alec to a brothel room that made him arch his eyebrows. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Not that it matters”, he thought as he knocked at Alec’s door.

“In a minute!” A cheerful voice answered, and, somehow, that infuriated Magnus.

So, when Alec opened the door, Magnus pushed him inside.

“You!” He punctuated with another shove and closed the door. “How dare you!”

“How did you find out it was me this fast?” Alec fell into the bed, but just bounced back.

“You won’t even try to deny it?”

“Do you want me to? Because I know how you are when you’re angry and I learned my lesson.” Alec pushed his hair back. “I did what I had to do. There wasn’t any mention of a warlock involved in this part of history, so something was going on.”

“What?” Magnus didn’t hide his confusion.

“The shadowhunters that receive this rune also receive one mission.” Alec pointed to his arm, where Magnus remembered his time rune was. “To get rid of a specific species of demon. They are mostly tricksters, feeding on the energy of time changes, but some races are really dangerous.”

“What does this has to do with anything?” 

“There was one here, and I hunted it down.” Alec pursed his lips, weighing his words before speaking again. “He was influencing your friend.”

“I would notice if Axel was possessed.” Magnus scoffed with disdain. 

“Yes, but Axel wasn’t possessed. This demon has shape-shifting abilities. It’s theorized they are somehow related to eidolons, but this doesn’t matter now.” Alec sat down on the only chair in the filthy room. “It was trying to change history, so I killed it and put things back in place.”

“Except your actions made the royal family be arrested!”

“Exactly.”

Magnus blinked, surprised by Alec’s nonchalant attitude, but, before he could react, someone kicked the door down and Alec was on his feet in the next second, pulling Magnus behind him.

“Axel?” Magnus’ eyes widened when he saw the newcomer.

“Magnus?” Axel was equally surprised. “You know him?”

“If I know him?” Magnus gasped. “I was the one to tell you about him!”

“You snitched on me?” Alec turned his head to look at Magnus, seeming offended.

“You snitched on the royal family!” Magnus snapped back

“I had to fix it, it's kinda my job!” Alec throws his hands in the air.

“So you are a traitor of the crown!” Axel accused. “Did you know of this, Magnus?”

“No!” Magnus rushed to say, at the same time that Alec screamed: “Magnus has nothing to do with this. And besides, your precious crown brought this on themselves.”

“How dare you!” Axel was livid.

“Maybe get out from your castle once in a while and look around!” Alec pointed to the window. “The family you are so insistent in protecting has been exploiting these people. The people they were supposed to protect. And I actually love to break it to you, but a king is not God. All this time mistreating them and now you are surprised they are fighting back?”

“We owe obedience to the royal crown. The king is the representation of…”

“Cut the crap, King Louis doesn’t stand you.” Alec rolled his eyes, going back to his chair. “You are doing this for Queen Marie. No judgments, I guess we all love someone we can’t have at some point of our lives, nothing wrong with that.” There was some bitterness in his tone, that made Magnus think that Alec knew what he was talking about. “Maybe just own it up, you know?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Axel’s face was so full of hate that Magnus wanted to intervene, but before he could think in something to say, Alec retaliated.

“She has a long road ahead of her. Even more now that people know that you planned the whole thing. Everyone knows about your… connection. This won’t do any good to their reputation.”

“You little rascal…!” It was so fast that Magnus almost didn’t see when Axel drew his sword and moved to Alec.

And Magnus blamed how fast everyone was moving for the way he reacted. He saw Alec get up and reach for his seraph blade. In retrospect, he told himself that Alec would probably have been able to defend himself and diffuse the situation without harming anyone. He was committed to protect history, all that mess only confirmed it. But yet, it was Magnus who put himself in front of the nephilim, his magic reacting before he could think about it and holding Axel against the wall.

“Magnus…” Axel was staring at him like he was seeing Magnus for the first time.

“Let’s calm down,” Magnus breathed out, realizing he was also holding Alec’s wrist, stopping him from moving with the blade, but in the end, it was clear who he was more adamant in protecting. “And talk this out like gentlemen.” He released both men.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Axel sneered, putting his sword away. “Stay with your rebel, Magnus.” And he stormed off.

“Axel!” Magnus ran after him, not sparing a glance in Alec direction. “Axel, wait!” He reached him in the front of the brothel. “I don’t know what you are thinking, but…”

“I know what I saw, Magnus.” Axel had an unreadable expression. “We are done.”

“We were done the second you lashed out on me over the failure of your plan, Axel.” Magnus voice was hard, but somehow it also betrayed his anguish. “But I do care about you as my friend if nothing else, and I would hate to see you do some foolish thing and get yourself killed over it.”

Axel evaluated him for a second.

“Go home with an easy heart, I have to leave the country for now, work on a solution.” He released a breath. “It’s my fault, I planned. Don’t argue.” He raised his hand to stop Magnus to talk back. “Maybe your… friend,” he basically spits out the word. “Has a point. I have to take responsibility.”

“Are you really going to keep risking your life like this?” Magnus gave up pretending he didn’t care. His bravado lasted two minutes, maybe he should celebrate.

“Oh, Magnus,” Axel smiled, but somehow it's was sadder than tears could ever be. “One day you will meet someone that you will love so much that your life is just another gift to give them. The rest is inconsequential.”

“It sounds incredibly stupid.”

“It’s not worth it otherwise.” Axel shifted his weight on his feet, considering. “I am sorry for hurting you with my selfishness. Farewell, Magnus.”

And without giving a second for Magnus to respond, he was gone.

After a while, he returned to Alec’s room. He found the door half open, indicating he was expected. Magnus didn’t know what to make of this, and he was tired of trying to figure things out. He entered the room in silence, to find Alec in the chair, elbows in his thighs, face in his hands. Much later Magnus would realize how tired Alec seemed, and think of how much all of this must be taking a toll on him, but by that time it would be too late anyway.

“Are you proud of yourself?” He asked, and Alec lifted his head. His hazel eyes would have been suspiciously red to someone who was paying attention. Magnus wasn’t. “Your little stunt could get me accused of treason. I could be hanged for this.”

“You won’t be.” Alec whispered. “There’s nothing to prove you are a conspirator. You are a warlock that Axel reached out to and that was it. France doesn’t go after warlocks for doing their jobs.”

“Since when don’t people go after downworlders?” Magnus laughed bitterly. “What do you know about being a downworlder in this century, shadowhunter?”

“I know what you told me.” Alec was quiet. “And I know that the French Revolution was the moment when so many things changed. Not just for the mundanes, but for the downworld too.” He rubbed his hand in his eyes. “And I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I made clear that you were just performing a service and nothing else.”

“How chivalrous of you.” Magnus joked, his face a mask of fake joy. “Protecting the warlock who will help you in the future? I have no idea why I will put up with you. I thought you were different, but you are just like every other shadowhunter, wanting a downworlder around when it's convenient.”

“That’s not true, Magnus…!” Alec stood and walked to him, but Magnus each step he took Magnus took a step back, until finally Alec gave up, his hand still halfway to reach for him.

“So you will tell me that you didn’t approach me to get information on Axel’s plan?”

“What? No, Magnus, I didn’t even know you were… friends with him until you told me his name, I swear!”

“Dr. Lightwood, I’m tired. I haven’t been in your acquaintance for long and yet I don’t know what to expect from your visits, I only know that every time I see you I am left confused, hurt and alone for the following years. It’s not fair.” Alec’s expression was akin to someone that got sucker punched, but Magnus didn’t find it in himself to feel sorry for him. He was tired of this charade and this little revenge was his only reprieve.

Alec blinked a few times, coming back to himself. He stood straighter, put his hands behind his back. The pose of a perfect soldier from the clave.

“I’m sorry you feel this way. I will try to be more mindful of it in the future.” Alec said in a neutral tone, but Magnus could almost hear something behind the mask he just put on. “I never meant any of this to hurt you. I just wanted to do the right thing and I failed to see how it would affect you.”

“Do you believe in this revolution so much? Does that mean they will win?”

Alec pursed his lips. “It depends on what you consider a victory. It will take some time for people to have a clear picture of what happened here. But it will change the world.” 

“From my point of view it seems that the only thing happening is complete chaos.”

“Sometimes the solution is to destroy everything and start from zero. Alec spoke softly. “Chaos can be really scary in the beginning because you don’t see a way out or a solution, but that doesn’t mean that nothing good will come out of it.”

“You speak like someone who has lived such predicament.”

“I’m a man who likes other men in a society that can’t stand something that is outside their precious rules.” Magnus had already suspected, but to see Alec speaking of his preferences so openly strung a chord in him. “I had to live chaos to have the right to be who I am, and in the end, it helped other people to live their truth too. I guess it is a consequence of fighting for justice. I can go on because there were people fighting before me, and maybe in the future people won’t have to fight just as hard because I took a stand. It’s kind of what’s happening here. People ready to risk it all for a better chance because not everything is better than nothing.” He tilted his head. “I never imagined you were once a monarchist.”

“I believe that people need a leader. I don’t care what said leader is called, just if it’s a good one.” Magnus looked through the window. “And you were right in one thing. King Louis isn’t a good king. Maybe this will change his mind.”

“Oh, something will definitely happen with that head of his.” Alec stared blankly the wall for a second, then shook his head. “So…” He took a deep breath. “You haven’t known me for long.”

And then Magnus remembered why he had such a complicated spot for Alec Lightwood in his mind. How much time had Alec effectively have left? Looking at him now, he doesn’t seem different from the man he met in those ruins years ago.

“Spoilers.” Magnus whispered the word Alec always told him when he couldn’t give a direct answer. “For you, how often do we see each other? For me it spans some years, but you don’t look that different at all each time.”

“It varies. Time-traveling is a new science. I was one of the first ones to take the rune, with my sister.” Magnus turned away from him, pretending to walk to the window, to hide the guilt taking over. He hadn’t thought about it. How could Alec’s family know what happened to him? “There are others, but we are the pioneers.”

“Doesn’t it scare you? That something could happen to you in the past?” Magnus heard himself saying. “It would take some time for your family to know. Wouldn’t it be better to just be a professor or something?”

“I can’t do it.” Alec’s tone was so final that Magnus turned to him again. Alec was smiling softly, his face bathing from the light coming from the window. “I have a promise to live for. This promise is my  _ life _ . The rest...” He shrugged and looked younger than ever. “Doesn’t matter.”

“I hope it’s worth it.” Magnus felt himself almost choking, but his voice was even.

“It’s the only thing that’s really worth it, and at the end of the day, I have no regrets.” He took a step toward Magnus, and then they were more close than ever. “I knew the risks all along, and I made my choice long ago. I didn’t even had to think about it. This is the only thing that ever made sense. I’m at peace with whatever the future has stored for me.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I think I will stay a couple of days. I did help this happen, so I want to see a little more.” Alec smiled sheepishly. “Then I think I will go home for a while.”

“You should do that.” Magnus then started to walk to the door.

“You could stay here a little longer too.” Alec called for him, but Magnus didn’t turn around.

“I have come to realize that it’s best if we don’t prolong our contact for longer than necessary.” Magnus half turned his head, to find a carefully neutral expression on Alec’s face. “You know how to contact me if you find yourself in trouble and I know for a fact that you have no qualms in using this knowledge.”

“Alright.” That was all Alec said. Maybe he didn’t know what else to say.

Magnus didn’t know either. So he left with a silence that contained a billion words.

* * *

He didn’t really remember opening a portal, he just desperately wanted to be home, and when he came back to his senses, he was in Ragnor’s living room, a cup of tea in his hands and under the attentive watch of his friend, who was keeping his hand on Magnus' arm. His throat was dry and Magnus had foggy memories of telling Ragnor what happened in Paris. The place was in disarray, so Magnus could only imagine what kind of scene he had made for his dearest friend. But it was his gentle touch who had brought Magnus back. No matter what, Ragnor would always be his tether to reality and sanity.

“Are you feeling better now?” Ragnor whispered, rubbing his thumb in circles on Magnus' arm.

“I have no idea what I’m feeling.” Magnus was honest. “I thought I was ready to face him. Hell, I thought I could… I don’t know, I figure I forgot.”

“This Dr. Lightwood only brings you sorrow.” Ragnor reflected, mostly to himself. “You will drive yourself crazy if you can only think about this misplaced guilt every time you see him.

“I  _ hate _ him.” Magnus almost growled. “I hate that he makes me feel this way. But I can’t let him go.”

“You have to. And you have to let go of this guilt, it doesn’t belong to you, it doesn’t belong to anyone.” Ragnor grabbed his shoulder, making Magnus turn and look him in the eye. “Shadowhunters die young. It’s the sad truth. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“He seemed sad. And lonely,” Magnus mumbled. “I said some harsh things too.”

“I know.”

“I can’t apologize. He is probably gone.”

“I know.”

“But he  _ did _ say he was going to stay a little longer…”

“Magnus.” Ragnor interrupted him. “Breathe.”

“I can’t.” Magnus put the cup in the table, and rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t think I can.”

“You said it yourself. It’s best if you don’t have much contact with him. It’s the wisest thing to do.”

“I know.” Magnus licked his bottom lip. “You are right.”

“I can barely believe my ears. Did you really say that?” Ragnor feigned shock and surprise, opening a big smile.

“Oh, shut up, you old cabbage.” Magnus stood. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to use some of your hospitality and serve myself with one of you spare bedrooms.”

“This house is also yours, Magnus.” Ragnor also stood, and walked to his library. “God knows I can’t get rid of you.” 

“Where are you going? Don’t leave me alone!” Magnus whined, falling sideways in the couch.

“Away. I told you I would only talk to you about your foolish love life from now on!” Ragnor voice came from the distance, but there was a audible smile that made Magnus laugh while getting up and going up the stairs. 

In the bedroom, already in bed, he thought long and hard before snapping his fingers, summoning Alec’s diary. Again he marveled about the intricate design. He wondered if it was handmade.

He slept cradling it in his arms and dreamt of hazel eyes.

* * *

 

You can find me on twitter, user @[staywithmemalec](twitter.com/staywithmemalec). I guess I will track the #YAHTMfic tag or the #iamela (my name!)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About history: Axel von Fersen did plan this flight, and the locations are correct. The whole romance with the queen is pure speculation. The rest was me, taking some liberties with real people that are dead now. Im going to hell :)
> 
> Please, leave kudos and comments!! You can also reach out on twitter!


	3. i never want to leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meets a new type of demon while having to face Alec Lightwood and his mysteries one more time. All he wants is to never see Alec ever again, but at the same time, he is starting to realize he is incapable of looking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -FINISHING AND EDITING THIS CHAPTER WAS A NIGHTMARE. i rewrote this thing so many times, i was so undecided of how much of the plot i could bring this early, but after some time i was 'fuck it' and now im very pleased with the results  
> -have in mind that this is the start of the questions, but if you didn't understand something, you can ask me in the comments or on twitter!  
> -fake science magic is hard  
> -my beta is the most precious human being, 10/10 would die for her  
> -english is not my first language and even having the most amazing beta, we are only human and this chapter has 15k, so i apologize for any errors

You can find me on twitter, user @[staywithmemalec](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272074/chapters/twitter.com/staywithmemalec). I guess I will track the #YAHTMfic tag or the #iamela (my name!)!

Enjoy!

1810

“I expected… more.” Magnus said as he and Ragnor walked into the Byzantium’s library. “This is the size of a classroom in the Spiral Labyrinth.”

“Oh, please, Magnus, our classrooms aren’t this small.” Ragnor scolded him, looking with disdain at a shelf closeby. “For a place that claims to be the future of Warlock’s Academics, they are surely.... basic.”

“I think it should be here somewhere.” Magnus checked the shelves, his steps getting faster.

“What are you looking for again?” Ragnor followed Magnus, his voice still full of disinterest.

“Inside the spellbook I got from Dr. Lightwood, there were some spells written in a very old demonic language, Ancient Infernal. I don’t know it enough to translate everything, but- Oh!” Magnus stopped after seeing the box made of glass. There was an opened, ancient book inside of it. “There it is.”

“Are you saying…?” Ragnor whispered, his mouth agape. Both of them approached the cage with reverence. “This must be incredibly old. How did it end up in this forsaken frauds’ den?”

“A warlock in the board of founders probably had it.” Magnus touched the glass and smiled mischievously to Ragnor. “The past tense being the key part of that sentence.”

“Are you telling me you are going to steal it?”

“Are you telling me that you think this incredibly rare book should stay… _here_?” Magnus waved his hands around, pointing at the empty library.

“Good point,” Ragnor said after a brief pause.

“I knew you would see reason.” Magnus looked at the open pages, enamored. “This is a Work of Art. It’s been theorized that this language was spoken at the time Edom was formed, the words being a type of magic themselves! I learned some of it over the years, but not much.”

“You are obsessed, my friend.” Ragnor laughed, amused by Magnus’ almost childish joy.

“Says the man who can go over potions for hours and hours,” Magnus teased him.

“Oh no.” Ragnor paled. “I think the previous owner made some notes in it.” He pursed his lips in disapproval. “Can you read them?”

“Let me see…” Magnus tried to make sense of the words through the glass. “Oh.” Magnus pulled himself straighter.

“What? What does it say?”

Magnus crossed his arms, remembering the other time he was called that, by the same person who had first mentioned Byzantium to Magnus, years before this university was even founded.

“Hello, handsome.” Magnus willed himself not to blush when Ragnor gave him the most disbelieving look. “And the coordinates for a portal. I think Dr. Lightwood put them there.”

“How?” Ragnor then shook his head. “Nevermind, stupid question. Why?”

“He was the one to tell me about the Byzantium.” Magnus tried to recall their first conversation. “He mentioned that I had fun in here, I think.”

“You aren’t going to open this portal.” Ragnor’s voice didn’t let him any room for refusal. “Every time he shows up you become a mess. That’s it, I’m drawing a line.”

Magnus was only half-listening.

He thought about Paris and the following weeks and months where he picked up the pieces of his broken heart, not entirely sure of who had broken it. He thought about reading Axel’s letters over and over, mourning that connection, missing his bright mind and cursing the fact that Axel was never truly his and Magnus had no one to blame but himself. He thought about falling asleep so many times cradling Alec’s journal, trying to remind himself that it was proof of his future, that if he still had that much time, then it was more than enough to heal. He had survived before, he wouldn’t die as the victim of a broken heart.

More often than not he had asked himself how much time it would take for him and Alec to become the friends they seemed to be fated to be, or if their work relationship would always be entwined with those bitter feelings that took residence in Magnus’ chest.

He checked the coordinates, seeing they were a little unusual, different from the coordinates that were normally used. But then he remembered his future spellbook, full of coordinates in a similar fashion, right below the spell for a portal that Magnus was fairly confident he was capable of replicating.

“He explained it to me the first time we met. Some facts can’t be changed. If he _has_ those coordinates, it means a version of him already came here. If a future Dr. Lightwood wrote this in the book...” At this point Magnus summoned his magic to his hands, moving them in circles to make the portal.

“Magnus, no!” Ragnor groaned, stepping away, his hands on his face showing how done he already was.

The portal had only just been open for one second when a woman got thrown out of it, her body hitting the glass box and going to the floor with it.

“Alec!” she cried out, standing up and taking her black hair out of her face.

Magnus barely had time to see the deep cut in her arm when two other figures got thrown out of the portal. Alec hit the floor on his back, left leg kicking whoever it was that had crossed along off of him.

“Magnus, close it!” Alec struggled to get on his feet, but then the woman was on his stunned opponent, kicking him herself before activating the bracelet in her wrist and turning it in a whip.

Magnus closed the portal as the woman deftly hit the unknown man on the throat, strangling him with her whip before dragging him to the ground. By then, Alec was already on his feet, seraph blade in hand. It took him but a second to finish the man off.

“What in the name of all angels are you doing?” Magnus didn’t bother trying to hide his shock.

“This wasn’t planned.” Alec grimaced, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “We miscalculated something.”

“That’s a way of putting it.” The woman turned her whip into a bracelet again. Magnus couldn’t help but notice her beauty and the unusual and revealing clothes she was wearing. He definitely wanted to know who was her tailor. He more than wanted a pair of leather pants like those, he _needed_ them. “When we go back, I’m going to kill Raj.”

“I don’t want to be rude, but who are you?” Magnus turned to her, trying his best to achieve a pleasant tone, but to be quite honest, the last minutes had been too fast.

“Oh.” She seemed surprised, before glancing worriedly at Alec.

Alec wasn’t looking at her, though. He had his eyes on Magnus, and he had the same heartbreak on his face he had when, back at the first time they met, Magnus had asked who he was. It was gone just as quickly as it had that time. Alec shrugged, though there was a certain sadness that Magnus was starting to notice was always related to the moments when Magnus revealed he didn’t know something Alec considered important.

“Well, I’m Isabelle Lightwood-Fairchild.” Isabelle broke the moment, extending her hand for him to shake. It was a weird behavior for a lady, but he took her hand anyway.

It was then that he noticed the wedded rune on her hand. Involuntarily, his gaze moved for a second to the part of her chest that was visible through her blouse. There it was, another wedded rune, right next to what seemed to be the angelic rune on her cleavage. He looked at her warm eyes and didn’t give away his shock, smiling politely.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Dammit, Izzy.” Alec busied himself with the weird device Magnus had seen with him in Paris. “We are just in time. We need to evacuate the campus and get out of here.”

“Shadowhunters, always so demanding.” Ragnor, who until that moment had just been observing the scene with disdain, scoffed quite loudly. “Before we get to that, I would very much like to know why the hell you have just killed one of your own kind in here.”

Magnus turned his head so fast that he almost gave himself whiplash. He hadn’t paid attention, but, surely, the man on the ground had runes on his neck and arms, indicating his race.

“I can’t tell you that.” Alec grimaced, but there was a certain amount of impatience on his voice. “But what I can tell you is that in five minutes a big ass rock coming from the sky will crash into this building and kill everybody if we don’t hurry up. I will have to entertain your grumpiness some other time, pal.” He gave Ragnor an amicable pat on the shoulder, which turned Magnus and Ragnor into two very surprised warlocks.

“C’ mon, boys, we have to evacuate this place.” Isabelle led them out of the room, Alec hurriedly following after her

“...What?” Ragnor was more than shocked by the informality of the shadowhunter.

“I don’t think he realizes you don’t know him.” Magnus felt his heart weight more given that fact. “But Dr. Lightwood is usually right about these events, Ragnor. We have to help.”

“Then we better follow them.” Ragnor took a deep breath before going for the door.

Magnus was about to follow him when he remembered the book he came for. No defensive spells had been activated when Isabelle fell into it, so it should be fine to touch. He grabbed the book and after one second of contemplation, took it with him.

* * *

To say it was madness would be putting it lightly.

As it stood, Ragnor decided to simply cast spells to break every window of the castle, which was quite enough to scare people and prompt them into running. When the gigantic rock became visible, approaching fast, even more people started to move along. Magnus opened portals to speed things up, but there was too little time and in the end Isabelle had to drag him out of there.

The crash shook the ground. Magnus fell to his knees, certain the tremors would open a crater on the ground big enough to drag him all the way down to Edom, the long way around. The sound was impossibly loud. Magnus thought he might go deaf. Then an explosion happened and made everything worse, a big energy cloud painting the sky purple.  

After that, everything stilled. There was dust everywhere, hindering his vision, so he couldn’t see where Ragnor was. Before the explosion, they had managed to evacuate most of the people on the Byzantium to a nearby town, but it hadn’t been far enough. Several houses were in shambles.

Magnus asked himself how many people had got hurt. How many people had died.

He looked around, trying to make sense of the scenario. Lots of people had fallen too and didn’t seem able to recover their footing no matter how hard they tried. Some were already standing, calling out for loved ones. Magnus heard a groan next to him and looked to find Isabelle was also trying to get up.

“Are you hurt?” He asked her. She had just managed to sit, her big brown eyes full of worry, no doubt scanning the chaos around for signs of Alec.

“I’m fine, I have to find my- Alec!” She called out before Magnus had the chance to see him. When he looked, Alec was running around people, despair clear on his face.

“Izzy!” Alec was with them in the following instant. As soon as he arrived, he fell to his knees right next to her, hugging her tightly.

It was naïve to think they could save everyone. Magnus knew that, but the guilt weighted all the same. To see his haunted expression mirrored on Alec’s face was weirdly comforting. He wasn’t the only one who would spend weeks and months remembering this moment, asking himself if there was something else he could have done to save more people, to avoid all this damage.

“Magnus, are you okay?” Alec asked after he let Isabelle go. He then turned to Magnus, hand already halfway to Magnus’ face. “You have a cut-”

“I’m fine.” Magnus batted it away before he was able to touch. “Have you seen Ragnor?”

Alec pressed his lips into a tight line, but Magnus didn’t find it in him to care.

“I heard him back there, he was trying to help some people.” Alec stood up, helping Izzy to her feet and pointed to the direction of some buildings that seemed that took the hit better than others. “We should regroup. The closest Institute will be sending people at any second and this will get messy. There will be questions.”

“What do I care about shadowhunters and their questions?” Magnus snapped, standing up while refusing the helpful hand Alec offered.

Leaving both shadowhunters behind without sparing them a second glance, he went to look for his friend in the general direction Alec had pointed him to. Finding an angry warlock with horns turned out to be thankfully simpler than he expected, especially given the chaotic situation. Ragnor was standing in what seemed to be the remnants of a  tavern, writing several fire messages.

“Ragnor!” Magnus approached him, just to feel ice dropping into his stomach when he noticed he was wounded. “You are bleeding!”

“So are you, idiot.” Ragnor didn’t look up from his fire messages. “There are people dying. You took some sort of healing class, didn’t you? Get to work and nevermind me.”

“We need more people.” Magnus took Ragnor’s face in his hands, forcibly healing him.

“I sent word to the High Council about this.” Ragnor stepped away from Magnus as soon as the ugly injury on his forehead stopped hurting.

“What do you think of Dr. Lightwood showing up?” Magnus couldn’t help by ask.

“He only shows up when trouble is about to happen.” Ragnor didn’t hesitate, but he mused his next words. “Maybe we should stay around and find out what sort of trouble this is.”

No. They weren’t going to stay. Not if Magnus had a choice in the matter.

* * *

It was weird to see Alec with Isabelle.

Magnus didn’t pinpoint why, but he was so certain that Alec didn’t like women that way. Even more so after their conversation in Paris about fighting for the right to be who he was. But who could really know what Alec had meant? Magnus had already given himself so many headaches spending days and nights analyzing every word he had said.

At least, from what Magnus could see, Alec and Izzy cared about each other.  Looking at them from a distance, given the care Alec put in drawing healing runes on Isabelle, they clearly loved each other a lot. For that fact alone they were already luckier than most and Magnus was happy for them.

Yet there was this ache in his heart every time he looked at them helping people around, mending some smaller injuries. It must be some sadness for the Alec situation. They weren’t so different in this. After all, just like Alec, Magnus could never be openly himself. He might be a powerful warlock, but that didn’t put him above the bigoted law.

And speaking of bigoted law, the shadowhunters from the Istanbul Institute arrived, barely sparing a glance to the downworlders and mundanes injured, preferring to busy themselves with the crater that had almost reached the town.

Magnus looked at the sky. It was still slightly purple, although it was slowly fading. At first, he didn’t think much of the magical explosion. Byzantium had had a lab, and it seemed natural that something in there would explode. But what could possibly explode that would leave that type of trace?

Magnus snapped his fingers and moved his hands in complicated gestures, reaching into the depths of his own magic, the root that connected him with its demonic origins. Before he could finish his reading, his concentration was broken by a rude voice.

“What are you doing, warlock?” Magnus turned his head to see a shadowhunter getting closer.

“It may have escaped your attention, my good sir, but the sky isn’t usually purple.” Magnus rolled his eyes, ready for whatever stupidity was about to come out of the shadowhunter‘s mouth.

“You think you are funny,” the shadowhunter scoffed. “Listen, you and your kind are only around here until you gather the means to go somewhere else. So no funny business if you know what is good for you.”

“I’m not leaving until I figure it out what happened.”

“Big rock fell from the sky, it’s not a mystery.”

“You really believe this?” Magnus arched an eyebrow and faked a laugh. “This type of magical trace....”

“It’s none of your concern.”

“Excuse me?” Magnus’ voice dropped to a dangerous tone. “This is a warlock university. I am the one who should ask why shadowhunters think they are entitled to be here at all.”

“You are playing a dangerous game, warlock.” The hand of the shadowhunter dropped to the handle of his seraph blade. “Just turn around and leave.”

Magnus felt the buzz of his magic under his skin as he smiled dangerously.

“Or what?” He could take that nephilim down.

“What is happening here?” Magnus heard Alec’s voice from behind him. Two seconds later and he was standing besides Magnus, glaring at the shadowhunter.

“I was just dealing with this warlock, sir.” The nameless shadowhunter tried to smile at Alec, to achieve some sort of camaraderie, but Alec just stared at him flatly.

“Let’s go, Magnus,” Alec said softly, but Magnus wasn’t willing to calm down.

He had no reason to trust Alec’s intentions. He may not be an arrogant shadowhunter who thought Downworlders were monsters, but who could say if he didn’t have the same pathologic need to stick his nose in things that his kind shouldn’t have a say in?

Alec eyed the shadowhunter for one second, before turning to Magnus again, whispering to his ears alone. “I have a plan to fix this mess.”

“Oh, another shadowhunter who will get into warlock’s business? I’m thrilled.” Magnus rolled his eyes, before turning in the spot and starting to march away. He could hear Alec following him.

“Wait, Magnus!”

“I really don’t have time for you trying to convince me you are not like every other shadowhunter. Not this time. I will pass.” Magnus didn’t spare him a glance, even when Alec caught up.

“Can you please listen to me for a second?”

“No!” Magnus was about to say more, but Ragnor chose that very moment to come out from an improvised medic bay.

“Oh, well, to what kind of trouble are you going to drag us, Dr. Lightwood?” He adjusted his cufflinks, seemingly disinterested.

“This person won’t drag me into anything!” Magnus snapped, pointing a finger at Alec and startling Ragnor with his outburst.

“Okay.” Alec took a deep breath. Magnus could feel him measuring his next words. “You must be angry at something  I didn’t do yet. Looking forward to it.”

“I bet you are.” Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Anyway…” Alec held his hands on his back. “What I meant to talk to you about was asking for your assistance in the investigation. Ragnor too” He smiled at the other warlock. “If you are all available.”

“Us? Helping the Clave?” Magnus faked laughed. “Didn’t you notice? They want to kick us out of here.”

“The Clave is more than imperfect, I know this very well.” Alec’s tone was a little guarded, but Magnus couldn’t pinpoint why. “But sometimes we have to navigate between their loopholes to get the job done. You taught me that.”

“Don’t you dare to try and use something that I will only do in the future.” Magnus snarled, more than tired of this game. “I’m not this version of me that you know and you would do a world of good to yourself if you stopped looking for him.”

“Magnus,” Ragnor tried to calm him down, but his voice was too shocked for that.

What really strung something within Magnus was actually the bitter smile that took over Alec’s face.

“Believe me, there’s no one more aware of that than me. And I’m not the one holding someone responsible for something they didn’t do yet.” Alec pointed to the crash site. “For centuries there have been reports on strange demonic activity and after years of research I managed to trace the beginning of it to the Byzantium. And hate the fact as much as you want, but I know you, and I would bet that you noticed that something is wrong too.”

“You think you are so clever,” Magnus scoffed. “You have everything figured it out, don’t you?”

Alec pursed his lips, clearly containing a remark, before giving him a strange smile.

“I wish I had.” He seemed to be lost in his own head for a moment, but then he turned his gaze to Magnus. “Are you in or out?”

Magnus didn’t want anything to do with Alec. Was he a little obsessed with the mystery of him? Yes, but Magnus also knew that there was danger in that. There was danger in getting closer.

Yet the sky was purple, and he couldn’t help but ask why.

“I don’t want a chaperone. If I do this, I want to come and go as I please.” Magnus released all the air in his lungs, his shoulders full of tension. “And keep in mind that I helped you this time only to give you a warning: I won’t always be there to catch you when you run into trouble.”

“And you are so wrong.” Alec snorted while indicating a spot where Isabelle and him had set up an improvised camp. “When are we at, anyway?” Alec guided him, Ragnor following them, to his and Isabelle’s backpack in a corner. Magnus held his breath when he saw Alec take out of the backpack the journal he knew so well and was currently also located in his vault.

“I don’t know how to answer that.” Magnus prayed that Alec didn’t notice how breathless he had become. “Every time it seems we are coming from totally different time directions. You haven’t lived anything I have and vice versa. Makes me think if we really need those journals.”

“You don’t have one yet?” Magnus shook his head in answer, and Alec wrinkled his nose, almost like a bunny. Magnus tried to convince himself that it wasn’t adorable at all. “Sometimes it happens that some of our encounters happen in the opposite order, but I come and go in time. It’s not the rule. I’m perfectly capable of keeping us on track, but when I met you, you had one.”

“Well, I think I have to get it, then.” Magnus leaned against a wall that was still standing, arms crossed.

Alec sat on some half-crumbled wall, weighing the journal on his hand before opening. It had a good chunk of blank pages, and Magnus didn’t know what to think.

“You know, you aren’t the only one who gets confused,” Alec said while taking a black stick from the pocket of his jacket and begin to write with it. “I never know what I’m going to find anymore when I bump into you during my travels.”

“What do you mean?” Magnus crossed his arms, clearly defensive.

“You can’t help the way you feel, but if I hurt you in the last time you saw me, I’m sorry.” Alec stared right into his eyes, and it felt like a challenge, somehow. “But I have to ask for you to put this aside, at least for now.” He looked at Ragnor, who stood a few steps away, arms crossed, before turning his gaze back to Magnus. “Both of you. I understand it’s very early days for you and you may not have reasons to fully trust me yet, but I only want to investigate this and then I will be out of your way.”

Magnus stared him down, and Alec didn’t shift under his gaze. Magnus realized that in all the time he had known Alec, Alec had never truly looked away, so he did instead.

“You mentioned unusual demonic activity?” He chose a safer subject, knowing the faster they solved the mystery, the faster Alec would be gone.

“Yes.” Alec took another journal from his backpack and Magnus couldn’t help but ask himself how many of those Alec had. “There’s this rare species of demon. It’s the deadlier species I ever encountered. They are… the perfect hunters. You can’t really fight them. We call them Weepers.”

“I have never heard of such thing.” All of Magnus’ irritability disappeared in thin air when he grabbed the journal Alec was offering to him. It contained notes and the drawing of something that looked like a decaying corpse, with inhuman facial features as far as he could see, as the face was partially covered by its hands.

“This species can travel in time, that must be why you haven’t heard about them yet,” Alec said while Magnus examined the notes, Ragnor coming to stand beside him. “I don’t know if they do it willingly, though. Which is why I’m here.”

“You said they are the deadlier species you have ever encountered.” Ragnor inquired, turning the pages to see more information.

“They cost me so many good people.” There was a hardness to Alec’s voice that made Magnus look at him again. He had his jaw tight, his eyes were ablaze with fury. “They cost me my brother.”

“What do they do?” Magnus was shocked, he had never seen Alec quite like this.

“They send you back in time. One touch and you are gone. Nothing else. They leave you there, so you can live the rest of your life out of your time and they can feed off this energy. Of the days you won’t ever have.” Alec laughed bitterly. “They are the only species that kill you nicely.”

“They sent your brother back.” Seeing the angry, but yet dejected look on Alec’s face cracked the walls Magnus had carefully built around himself. He felt Ragnor shift uncomfortably beside him.

“Yes.” Alec bit his lip, pensive. “I was able to find out what happened to him after he sent me a message in my present. His son delivered it to me.” Alec looked so troubled that Magnus’ heart ached. “He lived a happy life. I’m just… just a little bitter that I didn’t get to be part of it.” Alec forced a smile.

“I imagine you can’t bring him back because you were only able to track him down because of his son reaching out.”

“Yes. But I don’t think he would want to go back if he had the chance to.” Alec shrugged. “He loves his girl, you know? He wouldn’t go anywhere she couldn’t go, too.” He smiled softly. “I’m happy for him, I just… I just miss him. Izzy does too.”

“They were close?”

“Of course.” Alec a little startled. “Why wouldn’t they be? Didn’t I mention them before?”

“No reason. It’s not always the rule, that’s all.” Magnus almost laughed at Alec’s almost offended confusion. “I guess family never came up in our conversations. But reflection on family relations aside, how do we kill those things?”

“That’s… a work in progress.” Alec reached out and flipped a page to show more drawings and notes. “We only managed to kill one and it was pure unadulterated luck.” Magnus looked at him, alarmed. He remembered the first time he had seen Alec, how easily he had killed eidolons without breaking a sweat. “You see, there’s a catch. When you are looking at them, they literally turn into stone.” Alec continued to speak. “Indestructible. But if you look away, even if you just blink, they catch you. They are fast, faster than you think. You can’t run away from them. There’s only one weakness that we know of. See how they cover their eyes with their hands? They can’t look at each other. If they do, they turn into stone and they can’t look away. Forever trapped. It’s the only way we have to stop them, but then we have to keep an eye on them, in case something happens and shift them in place.”

“How did you kill one of those creatures?” Ragnor’s voice was full of surprise, but there was a hint of approval that made Magnus look at him shocked.

“My night vision rune, a well-placed mirror, and dumb luck. I managed to shoot it before it turned into stone.”

“And you think it started here?” Magnus turned back to the notes.

“Yeah.” Alec got up and turned to the crash site. “This is a place full of magic with ties to demonic energies. And those rumors about rituals happening?” He smiled mischievously. “Totally true.”

“I knew it.” Ragnor couldn’t help the bite in his words. “If you can excuse me, I have to let some people know. I will see if I can summon my personal notes on this matter.” He walked away to where some other warlocks that came to help had gathered.

“What do you need from us?” Magnus gave the journal back to Alec.

“You are the best specialist in demonology I have ever met ” Alec answered, a little coy, which confused Magnus. “Even now, when you are younger.”

“Dr. Lightwood…”

“You can call me by my name.” Alec was quick in correcting him. “Please.”

There was something in Alec’s eyes and that pleading tone that made Magnus feel like someone was wrapping something around his neck, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t want to contemplate those emotions. He had the feeling that if he let it, Alec Lightwood’s eyes could be his ruination and Magnus couldn’t allow that. Everything about them was a bad idea.

“I just wanted to apologize for snapping at you. Make no mistake, I have the most complicated feelings about what happened the last time I saw you, but you were right, and it isn’t fair to punish you for something when you don’t even know what is going to happen.”

“It’s fine.” Alec gave him a small, private smile. “This isn’t the first time we had a fight because of something like this. And for all it’s worth it, I’m sure I regret it. Even if it was something I would do again. Hurting you is always the last thing I want to do, Magnus.”

“It’s not really that important.” Magnus adjusted his coat, shrugging. “You are going to leave, and I will go back to my peaceful life.” He smiled politely. Maybe maintaining a cordial relationship was the way to go, at least until those demons were dealt with. “Maybe there’s no use getting angry about our quarrels.”

Alec dropped his smile, turning his gaze to the ground. He didn’t say anything for a solid minute, and, even if it was inappropriate, Magnus couldn’t help but stare at him. Maybe he was a masochist, but whenever Alec got that longing expression, something in his heart started to long too.

But then Magnus reminded himself why it was a bad idea.

“Well, I guess you’re right.” Alec smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “We should go and find Izzy.” He got his and Isabelle’s backpack. “She is with a shadowhunter that will help us get in there. We will have to keep it on the downlow. I could deal with the Istanbul Institute, but the amount of lies I’d have to spin to explain who we are… We do need to get in there, though, they don’t have what it takes to get to the bottom of this.” Alec shook his head, but then he smiled, proudly. “Izzy is the best fighter in our Institute and the best forensic pathologist.” He didn’t try to hide his pride.

For some reason, Magnus felt something strange on his stomach, which he decided to ignore. This would be his new rule: he would ignore every feeling that Alec invoked in him. It was a great plan and he was proud of himself for thinking of it.

“She really seems like a very capable shadowhunter, from what I saw in the Library.” The Clave wasn’t kind to female shadowhunters, and he could only imagine all the grieve Isabelle must have to deal with, being so unapologetically herself like that.

“Yeah, we tried to come here with our runes, but we totally missed the mark. How did you open that portal just in time?” Alec turned to face him, his face full of curiosity.

Magnus snapped his fingers, and with a flip of his wrist, the book he stole from the library was in his hands.

“You left a message in an incredibly old and rare book.” He opened the page to show it to Alec.

“Probably the only effective way to get your attention.” Alec bit back a smile, but he was clearly feeling quite smug, before starting to walk away

Magnus rolled his eyes. It would be an interesting couple of days.

* * *

The “days” were closer to turning into “weeks” when they finally stumbled upon something useful.

They discovered what looked like a dead demon, except for the fact that demons usually didn’t leave corpses behind.

“I can’t wait to put my hands into this thing.” Isabelle beamed while said corpse was being put into a table.

“Gross.” Alec laughed at her. “How much time will it take?”

“No idea. I don’t think I should start cutting before being sure it won’t just turn into dust.” Izzy had her eyes where the demon’s face should be. “I’m not even sure about which species this is. Have you ever seen a record of a corpse like this?”

“Not really, but I can check.” Alec stretched his neck, and Magnus loathed him and his neck rune a little bit. “I’ll have to give Fray a call.”

“Will you ever stop calling her that?” The words were scolding, but her tone was way too amused. “Or pretending she annoys you.”

“She does annoy me.” Alec deadpanned, before turning to leave.

“Send her my love!” Izzy cooed, which really confused Magnus for a second. Isabelle didn’t seem the type to coo.

“Do it yourself.” Alec raised his voice while disappearing in the corridor.

Magnus approached the table in their makeship lab, inside what used to be one of the classrooms of Byzantium. The west wing was mostly preserved, so they had set their operation there.

“Dr. Lightwood and this Fray don’t get along?” He tried to make conversation. Magnus figured that it was the only safe way to feed his obsession with Alec Lightwood without getting any closer to him.

“He just likes to play the overprotective big brother and tries to scare his sister-in-law.” Isabelle laughed. “Honestly, at this point I think he and Clary wouldn’t be able to be anything else but frenemies. It’s what keeps their relationship going.”

“Fair enough.” Magnus laughed along with her. It was really easy to like Isabelle. “Where was this thing found again?”

“Next to the dining room.” She said distractedly, putting on some rubber gloves that, when she showed him for the first time, surprised Magnus at the same time it broke his heart when Isabelle told it would be a while before it would be invented. “Safar found it and Alec convinced him to let us look into it and not to report to his boss.”

Magnus had to school his face so it wouldn’t grimace how he wanted it too. Safar was the shadowhunter who had smuggled them in, all those days ago, even if he seemed not to like the idea of two warlocks in the castle. There was always some tension when both of them were in a room. Magnus also hated how Safar seemed to have made his life’s mission to make Alec Lightwood impressed. Every time Alec asked for anything, Safar was right there, the perfect assistant.

“I hope Dr. Lightwood comes back with some kind of information.” Magnus waved his hands around above the corpse, trying to feel if there was any kind of magic. Like Izzy, he didn’t want to damage it with a careless move. “This baffles me.”

“Alec and Clary are huge nerds.” Izzy smiled fondly, but then she laughed at the confusion in Magnus’s face. “It means they are obsessed with something. If there’s a record, they will find it. You’ll like to know that Alec doesn’t know how to do anything without committing himself fully.”

Magnus turned again to face her, not sure why she had said it like that. He didn’t like the feeling that it seemed like they were having two different conversations.

“Is that so?” he said, his voice trailing off.

“He is a great person. I’m so proud of him.” She didn’t need to say it. Her voice was full of that feeling.

“You are very fortunate to have him.” Magnus smiled, hoping Izzy didn’t realize it was a little forced. He didn’t really want to hear her gushing about her husband, who happened to be someone who stirred the most variable emotions in Magnus.

“I am.” Izzy’s voice turned softer, but her smile was sadder. “I don’t think I tell him enough.

“I’m sure he knows.”

“I know. But he really is hard at himself sometimes.” She shrugged. “I just don’t want him to doubt himself. Things have been hectic lately and I can’t help him. Some things he has to do on his own.”

“I haven’t seen him many times, but I came to realize that he knows how to handle himself.” Magnus didn’t know why he wanted to reassure someone who definitely knew Alec better than him. Even more because he knew that he couldn’t tell her that everything would turn out just fine without lying.

“You could try to talk to him.” Izzy’s smile was almost childish with the amount of hope in it. “He can’t talk to me because he could mess with the timeline, but he could talk to you.”

“Me?” Magnus had to laugh. “My dear, I don't see why that would be any different. It could change the timeline too.”

“Yeah, but you are the only person who can really get through to him...” Isabelle didn’t give up.

“This… doesn’t seem fair to you.” It was as if ice had been dropped into Magnus' stomach, at the same time that he tried to fight the exhilaration he constantly felt any time he heard something about him and Alec in the future.

“I used to be the person he talked to about everything, and he was mine.” Izzy smiled nostalgically while turning her attention to the corpse. “But this job... He travels way more than I do. I like to stay in my modern lab, you know?” She started to take some measurements. “We are out of sync. Sometimes he comes back home and he… he is so sad. Alec doesn't really get sad. He is a fighter. If something is wrong, he doesn’t usually dwell. He likes to take action, you know?”

Magnus thought about Paris and the revolution. About their first meeting and his sacrifice.

“I have an idea.”

“So when he gets sad like that… It worries me.” Her voice trembled for a second, so quickly that Magnus would have missed if he wasn’t hanging onto every word about Alec. “It’s not always something he can tell me, but maybe it’s something he can tell you.”

Magnus didn’t want to get involved. Yes, he was obsessed with discovering everything about Alec and who he had been before the day he chose to die for Magnus. Yes, Magnus needed to know how he became the person who lit that circle on fire. But at the same time, he _couldn’t_ get involved. It would be too cruel. He wasn’t a masochist and from his point of view, Alec was a ghost. Magnus was only seeing flashes of his past. Alec didn't exist anymore. Only his footprints all over history.

“I don’t think we are quite there yet, my dear. I don't really know him or even how to approach him.” He tried to deflect, but Izzy’s crestfallen face made him curse internally. “Besides, we aren’t really in the best of terms right now.”

“Whatever happened, believe me, he already tortured himself enough.” Izzy reached to put a hand on Magnus' shoulder. “King of overthinking, is what he is. He knows he can’t control the future, but yet he obsesses over it.”

“I think I know what he goes through.” Magnus laughed without much humor, thinking about all the nights he spent staring at the possessions Alec had left behind.

“In some ways, you two are so much alike it’s annoying.” Izzy stepped away. “Can you see if this thing is cursed?”

“Sure.” Magnus was momentarily confused by the sudden change, but he appreciated it all the same.

Talking about Alec Lightwood wasn’t worth the trouble.

* * *

Two days later, they had had some progress and that was the only reason Magnus was walking down the corridors, looking for Dr. Lightwood. The place was so big that he hadn’t seen Alec in the last two days, and Ragnor in almost a week, since the old fool had the habit to isolate himself in a dark room with his books everytime he was in the middle of research. Besides that, they couldn’t just be out and about and had to make an effort not to let their presence be known, which was helped by the size of the castle.

It was also the reason why finding Alec turned almost like a mission.

Of course, whatever he was hoping to find when he entered the room that the tracking spell pointed at, it wasn’t this: He did find Alec in there, but Safar was with him, and by the looks of it, they had been sparring.

They were quietly talking to each other, so low that Magnus couldn’t hear from where he was standing the doorway, but Safar’s body language was telling enough. Did Alec not realize he was flirting? Maybe far away in the future this meant nothing, but at the same time the way Safar leaned in should be an universal and atemporal language: keeping his voice low, his eyes on the curve of Alec’s shoulders, testing the waters to see if someone would welcome an advance. Was Alec that oblivious or did he just not care?

“Dr. Lightwood?” Magnus barely hid the displeasure in his voice. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Sure.” Alec dropped the staff he had been holding and dismissed Safar, his eyes never leaving Magnus, which, somehow, just made him angrier. “What’s wrong?”

Magnus fully entered the room, only acknowledging Safar for long enough to give him a dirty look as the shadowhunter passed him by. As soon as he was out and gone, Magnus closed the distance between him and Alec.

“Magnus, what- ouch!” Alec yelped when Magnus, losing all self-control, slapped him in the chest.

“Don’t you have any shame?” Magnus hissed. “What if it was Isabelle coming in from that door instead of me? I don’t know what sort of deal involves your marriage, but at the very least have some public decency.”

“What?” Alec was the living image of confusion. “Izzy? Marriage? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you respecting the presence of your wife!”

“Wife?” Alec squeaked. “I don’t have a wife, who are you… No!” Alexander turned whiter than a ghost, which was when Magnus realized he mayhaps had just made an absolute fool of himself. “Izzy? Izzy is my sister! My baby sister! The sister I saw in diapers. Yes, I was very little, but I remember.”

“Lightwood-Fairchild… I thought… Oh my God.” Magnus considered portaling himself away to the Americas to live with the natives.

“She took the Fairchild surname after her wedding, since she already had the Lightwood, since, you know, she is my SISTER!” Alec‘s whole body shivered. “I never imagined that you, of all people, would think…”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Magnus bit his cheek, wanting to be anywhere but there. “It’s just… I know someone with your preferences would have a hard time with the Clave, so…”

“But I wouldn’t get married to protect myself, even if they made my life hell for quite some time.” Alec looked so offended at the notion. “Not when I knew what I had waiting for me.”

“I should have known, I just let… my own visions get in the way.”

“Don’t mention this to Izzy. Never. She will never let you live this down.” Alec warned, before rubbing his face with both hands. “By the angel, Magnus.”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Alec waved it off, even if some uneasiness could be seen in his face. Then he smiled, a little teasing. “Actually, looking at the bright side, it was nice to see you barely knowing my sister and are ready to fight for her honor. I always knew I could trust you with her, but it's nice to see it so early. But I think you know that two men standing together doesn’t have a deep meaning, so I have to ask why were you so at edge.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Magnus crossed his arms in defense. “I’m not at edge. And you two weren’t just standing. Safar…” Magnus felt his face grimace in the return of his anger. “Safar looks like a dog, waiting to be fed by your hand. It’s pathetic.”

“And you saw that in the five seconds you saw us there?” Alec arched an eyebrow.

“You are not from this century, Alec.” Magnus scoffed. “You don’t know how to see the signs, I guess.”

“It’s that so?” Alec took a step in his direction, his voice dropping to a husky whisper and for some reason, Magnus thought it was best to look at his shoulder than his mischievous eyes.

Which wasn’t a better idea. Not at all. Not when Alec was using that shirt with so much skin and muscles showing. And his traitorous mind, not finding him in trouble enough, decided to look to the piece of his broad chest that was also on display, trying to see if he would find a wedded union rune in there. He couldn’t. But he could see a strange one, that he had no knowledge off. Not that it meant anything. Shadowhunters liked to keep their secrets and honestly, maybe he was putting too much though in rune placement. Just because he couldn’t see, it didn’t mean it wasn’t there. Alec never denied being married, after all.

“Magnus, my eyes are up here.” Magnus felt all the blood leave his face to just return in full force to his cheeks a second later.

“I wasn’t looking if you are wondering.” He tried to convey as much disinterest he could manage into his voice. “I was just… thinking about… things. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You seem too defensive.” Alec was full of delight, which just made Magnus blush further. “I never thought I would be the one making you all flustered.”

“You aren’t.” Then Alec just smiled at him, all joy, and Magnus couldn’t bear. “I actually came here to talk about the corpse in the lab.” Yes, dead things were a more secure topic of conversation.

“What about it? Did you guys figure it out what it is?” Alec didn’t step away and neither did Magnus. It would feel like defeat, even if he wasn’t sure why. “Fray didn’t return to me yet.”

“Maybe it isn’t a demon.” Magnus tried to fall into the easiness science always gave him. “I do feel some demonic energy, but it felt closer to a possession.”

“It would explain why there's a corpse at all,” Alec muttered to himself. “What does Izzy say?”

“She is doing a full autopsy now. My work is pretty much done in there. I think I will join Ragnor if the old bat is sane enough to open the door.”

“I could take you there.” Alec shrugged, giving him a lopsided smile. “I found a secret corridor, it’s safer.” He reached for his shirt and jacket in a table nearby.

They started walking in silence, but for the first time, Magnus didn’t feel the tension that was usually between them. Instead, there was some anticipation in his chest for something he couldn’t name yet. His heart was beating fast and strong, half because of the embarrassment he just went through, half because of the waiting for whatever comes next. Magnus couldn’t help but feel that he crossed a line he didn’t know it was there and he found himself again in uncharted territory.

When Alec laughed and smiled at him, but Magnus couldn’t help but feel he was missing the joke. He wasn’t there yet, in the point when they were those good friends with inside jokes and secret laughs. And right now Magnus didn’t see how it would be possible to them ever be, but it has to, right? That’s why he was feeling like this, it must be.

“You look like someone who has been caught red-handed,” Alec whispered in the quiet hall, before getting into another fit of giggles that Magnus refused to think about.

“Will you ever forget this?”

“No.” Alec seemed pleased with himself for some reason. “I could explain to you why, but…”

“Spoilers.” Magnus interrupted him with a petulant tone, which made Alec laugh again and Magnus’s heart flutter at the beautiful sound and he felt like he was about to drown at any second.

“Don’t be mad.” Alec bumped his shoulder into Magnus’. “I know how frustrating it is. I have been there. The one who knew very little. But if it's any consolation, you are the person I trust the most in the whole time and space. I’m not trying to be difficult or anything like that.”

“Your sister is right here, Lightwood.” Magnus really didn’t want to listen to Alec, but couldn’t help but drink every word.

“I love Izzy like crazy, but she is the worst at keeping secrets.” Alec smiled to himself for a moment. “And she can be really nosey, she almost ruined her own proposal more times than I can count.” He sighed. “It was a very stressing week.”

“She is a scientist, we are inquisitive people.”

They shared small talk and Magnus got some insight into the bright soul Alec had if the way he talked about his sister was any indication. Magnus decided to try to focus on that, and not in the longing glances full of hope Alec threw in his direction, or how Alec didn’t need to listen with such attention Magnus telling about Ragnor running from spider-monkeys in Peru. Such a silly story, and yet, Alec was hanging to every single word.

Which was when, with no little relief, they got to where Ragnor had holed himself up. Alec said it was the Dean’s quarters, and Magnus rolled his eyes when they opened the door and Ragnor barked for them to get out from behind some big pile of books.

“You are three books away from building a full wall around yourself.” Magnus jumped carefully around the smaller piles.

“Shouldn’t you be playing with dead things?” Ragnor didn’t look up from the book in his hands.

“My job in there is done. Came to see what I could do in here.”

“There are a few rooms in here. In the bedroom you can find notes from the Dean, you can start reading it.” Ragnor didn’t miss a beat. “I think I know why the sky was purple, but I want you to read first to see if you find the same.”

Magnus had only started working on Spiral Labyrinth as an assistant teacher the year before, so this side of Ragnor was kind of new. His friend never talked in much details about what happened behind the curtains, saying it would keep the mystery and then Magnus wouldn’t forget he was just a foolish kid in front of his professors. So to see Ragnor wanting his opinion in such a serious setting made Magnus feel a strange burst of pride. He knew that Ragnor never saw him like a lesser person, but yet, to be treated as a whole equal in a professional way meant more than Magnus was able to admit.

“Well, I will leave you to it,” Alec said from the door, which made Ragnor finally look up.

“I didn’t realize you were there,” Ragnor said coldly.

“I noticed.” Alec smiled at him anyway.

“You two behave.” Magnus scoffed before going through the door that led to other rooms.

It didn’t take him long to find the notes Ragnor was talking about. He browsed through them, seeing how they were full of spells and drawings of incantation circles. Grabbing the pages, he decided to return to Ragnor, so at least they could keep each other company while working.

But he stopped on his heels when he was next to the door. On the other side, he could hear the harsh whispers, sign that Ragnor and Alec were in a tense discussion.

“... you don’t get a say in here. This is between Magnus and me.” Alec was saying in a hushed tone. Magnus could imagine his stern expression perfectly. “I understand that you care about him, but you can’t possibly understand what is going on here.”

“This is gold coming from you.” Ragnor scoffed. “You get here, do your mess, and I’m the one who picks up the pieces of what you broke.”

“I never want to leave!” Alec’s tone raised, full of anguish, and Magnus suddenly couldn’t feel his hands. “I hate that I hurt him by leaving. You can’t imagine how much I hate it.”

“You don’t even know him. You think that spending some days with him from time to time make you know him?”

Alec laughed, without a trace of humor.

“Some days? Do you think it’s just some days? Magnus and I? We go way back. He may not really know me yet, but our lives are linked through all time and space. This is the Magnus in the days before he knew me. And he looks at me, and he looks right through me and it shouldn’t kill me, but it does.” Magnus heard the tremble in Alec’s voice and he hated to even think of the possibility of Alec tearing up. “So if you think this is easy for me, you are so wrong.” There’s a pause and Magnus debated in just barging in to stop whatever was happening when Alec spoke again. “I know there’s nothing I can say to make you trust me. But there’s something I can show you.”

More silence issued, and Magnus could feel each beat of his heart hurting in his chest for the strength of it until Ragnor finally spoke up.

“How is this possible?” His tone was a mix of surprise and awe.

“I will tell you one day.” Alec let a breath out, in relief. “You will find it fascinating.”

And to Magnus’ shock, Ragnor _laughed_.

“I’m sure I will.”

“I- I should go. And I know it’s too much to ask, but don’t-”

“I won’t say a word to him.”

“Thanks.” And then there was such silence that Magnus almost believed that Alec was gone if it wasn’t for the impossibility of getting out without bumping into books and desks. “And since I know Magnus tells you everything, I just want you to know that Izzy is my sister.”

Magnus had to suffocate a groan while Ragnor just had the loudest laugh that Magnus ever heard. He truly hated this day. Deciding that enough was enough, Magnus opened the door, and had to do his best job to hide his glee when Alec and Ragnor jumped in surprise.

“Oh my, what were you two up to?” He teased, then showed the pages. “It’s best for us to work together, Ragnor.”

“Agreed.” Ragnor cleared this throat then pulled a book from a very unstable pile, making the whole thing fall over. “Actually I have something to show you. It seems like some sort of ritual, but it reminded me of a summoning circle for a greater demon.” He passed the book to Magnus.

“I’m not sure what this is, and this is a first.” Magnus flipped the pages, noticing how new the book was. “I think you are right, this is a compilation of rituals, but I’m not sure what the objective is.”

Alec jumped around the piles until he stood besides Magnus, his eyes on the book.

“I think you showed me something like this before.” He said after a minute. “This one,” he pointed to a circle. “You told me it was used for demonic weddings, like, when Lucifer was cast out of heaven he needed more demons, so to breed them…”

“A breed between different species...” Magnus interrupted Alec. “There are some simple summoning circles, usually for smaller demons, but if they are being combined…” But before he could say anything else, the whole building started to shake.

“Oh, no, the books!” Magnus cried out when the piles started to sprawl out. He was about to conjure a protective spell when he noticed Ragnor’s incredulous look. “I mean, we are in serious danger!”

“Why do I still deal with you?” Ragnor rolled his eyes, but Magnus could see Alec shared his concern.

And as suddenly the tremor started, it stopped.

“I need to go see what is happening.” Alec started to make his way to the door. “I told everyone not to touch anything, but what do I know? I just have a Ph.D. in archeology.”

Magnus only partially heard him. He felt cold all of sudden, and he reached out for his magic and then he noticed. He turned to Ragnor and he could see his friend noticed too.

“There’s something wrong.” Magnus choked the words out. “I can’t-”

“What?” Alec immediately turned over and stumbled his way back to him. It occurred to Magnus that such tall man jumping around sprawled books was quite amusing, but part of him also thought it was rather cute.

“There’s a barrier around Byzantium.” It was Ragnor that answered. “I thought the two of us were the only warlocks in here.”

“You are.” Alec fired back. “You are saying someone did this? If wasn’t one of you...”

“A shadowhunter couldn’t have done it.” Magnus shook his head. “It’s impossible, this is magic.”

“Then there’s someone else in here.” Alec’s jaw hardened. “I need to find Izzy so we can fix this.”

* * *

“Alec!” Izzy called for him the second he went through the door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” Alec entered the lab, that was now in bad shape followed by Magnus and Ragnor. “You?”

“Don’t worry about me.” Izzy grabbed a piece of paper. “Clary found something and so did I. This is a corpse of a nephilim.”

“What?” Magnus and Alec asked at the same time, while Alec grabbed the piece of paper.

“He must be possessed by one demon. Clary thinks its a subspecies of Weepers.”

“We never saw this species possessing anyone, Iz.” Alec read the research and Magnus tried to read alongside him.

“But you will.” Magnus recognized the pattern described by this Clary person. “Last time I saw you, you were hunting one of those. But the way you described, it didn’t seem a Weeper. You said they had some sort of power to manipulate time, but that was it.”

“Yeah, there were some rumors about it, I didn’t give them any credit.” Alec groaned. “What did I do about this subspecies?”

“I didn’t go with you, I had…” Magnus didn’t know how to explain the Paris mess, and honestly, he was in a good place with Alec and telling him that Magnus was taking care of a lover may not work well.  “Other matters to attend to. But you managed to kill it, or at least that was what you told me. So I think it doesn’t have any other similarity to Weepers.”

“I have been thinking about that ritual…” Ragnor spoke quietly. “I think they created _this_ demon and the Weepers.”

“Oh, God.” Magnus snapped his fingers, summoning the Dean’s notes to his hands and starting to go through the pages.

“Suddenly I feel considerably less bad for the destruction of this place.” Izzy scoffed. “What were they thinking?”

“If you look carefully, there’s a warding ritual between these.” Magnus flipped the pages again. “Those wards were set by Byzantium.”

“What do you mean wards?” Izzy turned to him, her eyes wide. “This is what that tremor was about? I thought it was an earthquake.”

“Not now, Iz,” Alec said with a hushed, but yet kind tone. “You think Byzantium activated those wards?”

“This could be a safety measure, in case something happened,” Ragnor explained.

“I am not sure about how the ward was activated. It could be a coincidence that it was just after we found out the truth about the corpse, but I don’t really believe in coincidence. It activated only now, so it wasn’t the demon that possessed this nephilim. So something else escaped.” Magnus gave the pages to Ragnor. “The sky, what was your theory?”

“This amount of summonings? In such short time?” Ragnor scoffed. “I think it was the start of a rift between dimensions. I’m not sure of how much damage there is.”

“So much for a quick academic trip.” Alec cursed under his breath. “Let’s split up. We are going to cover more ground this way, we need to warn people and think of a way to get out of here. Time to hide is over.”

“I will try to notify the warlocks that stayed in town.” And with this, Ragnor was out.

“I’m going to send word to Clary about the situation, see if she can say anything else.” Izzy touched her brother’s arm before following Ragnor.

And then Magnus and Alec were alone and Magnus didn’t want to deal with it. Not after having heard what he heard. He didn’t have the time to process it yet.

“Hey,” Alec called softly. “Be careful, please. Remember what I told you, I didn’t come here for his subspecies. There’s a bigger danger.”

“I’m pretty sure warlocks are somehow immune to Weepers. I mean, they can send us back, but we are immortal. I would only have to wait out for some years. Decades are nothing to us.” Magnus tried to laugh it off, uncomfortable with the concern in Alec’s eyes.

“Maybe, but I don’t want you to be on your own.” Alec approached him. “You don’t do well when you are alone, Magnus.”

Magnus felt like ice was dropped in his stomach, just as anger started to simmer under his skin.

“You don’t know me.” He said through his teeth.

“Oh, Magnus.” Alec smiled sadly. “I do know you. But I know right now you don't know me, so I won't force you. Just… be careful, please.”

Magnus pursed his lips, containing all the things he wanted to say, all the things he wanted to ask. But he knew he couldn't ask for anything that Alec hadn’t already given willingly, so he would have to wait.

What a terrifying prospect.

“I will.”

* * *

The scenario was less chaotic than Magnus expected in the great hall. It was mostly shadowhunters looking for their fellow soldiers that could be stuck somewhere since a few walls fell after that tremor. Ragnor was helping clear some paths, not looking particularly pleased, but unable to stand by when there were people needing help.

Magnus didn’t join them, since Ragnor had everything under control, preferring to concentrate in the spell he had set on the floor, trying to understand what exact ward was surrounding Byzantium and how to lift it.

“We have four missing shadowhunters.” Isabelle came to him. “They have sent some people to check their last location, but we can’t wait forever, especially if Weepers are out and about. Also, some of the shadowhunters that managed to come back said there are some lesser demons in here too.” She pushed her fingers through her black hair. “We need to get out and fast.”

“Don’t fret, darling. I’m working on getting us out of this trap.” Magnus tried to smile reassuring. He looked around. “Where's Doctor Lightwood?”

Magnus didn't like the sly smile on Isabelle's lips after his question. “I have been told he went to see something Safar found.”

But he was hardly hearing. Something went down in his spine when he heard that Alec was alone with Safar. He didn’t like the idea of Alec alone with a person that didn’t earn their trust in the middle of a crisis.

“I will look for them.” He said, suddenly. “It may be something that needs a warlock look.”

“It may be a good idea.” Izzy seemed to want to say something more, but to Magnus’ relief, she excused herself when she saw another shadowhunter arriving.

Magnus really didn’t need any teasing now.

* * *

The demon appearances started slowly when they moved through corridors and halls, some little ones showing up now and then. Nothing that could slow him down. But it was like the fishes that follow sharks around. Just a clue of something way more dangerous lurking.

When Magnus told Isabelle he would find Alec he didn’t have a plan, but he wouldn’t let this detail stop him. The wards in place didn’t allow him to track Alec with much accuracy, but it gave him an overall idea where Alec was, so he headed in the direction of the south side. They mostly avoided the place after checking if there weren’t any survivors since it was mostly unstable.

What could Safar have possibly found in a place that was supposed to be left alone?

Curiously, the closer Magnus was to the location, the fewer demons showed up. This should worry him more, but before he could add this to his theories, he heard noises down a hall. He hurried toward the sound, however fight happening turning more vicious by the second if the noise was anything to go by. Magnus almost got lost in the labyrinth of debris, but when he finally found the room, he got himself shocked.

Inside there was Alec fighting… Alec?

Magnus looked from one man to another, noticing that Safar wasn’t anywhere to be seen. It took him two seconds to come to the conclusion Safar was the dead nephilim, and this would be a shapeshifting demon who took his place, one with abilities so good that they could mimic Alec’s fighting style perfectly. Magnus couldn’t tell them apart.

But there was something no demon could replicate.

“Alec!” He cried out.

The two of them turned to him, but while there was some expected surprise, only one of them had his face full of concern, just the way Magnus had anticipated. What he should also have predicted was the other one turning back to the fight and moving his blade toward Alec, that was barely able to deflect.

“Magnus, get out of here!” Alec screamed back at him, not acknowledging the cut in his collarbone that also ripped off part of his shirt.

“Oh, spare me the chivalry, would you?” Magnus rolled his eyes before launching a powerful spell against the demon.

Even knowing it was a shapeshifter, Magnus felt sick when his magic burned part of Alec’s face. He froze in place when this demon scream mixed into his memories of Alec screaming that first time, grabbing his mind and taking him back there, losing Alec all over again.

Magnus barely saw Alec drawing his bow and chasing the demon while shooting arrows until whatever it was jumped out a window.

He heard the glass shattering, but what woke him from his stupor was Alexander grabbing him by the shoulders, calling his name.

“You are fine.” Magnus didn’t notice he moved until his hand was already on Alec’s face.

“I’m perfectly fine, Magnus.” He smiled, relieved that Magnus wasn’t unresponsive anymore. “You were great. But I have to ask, how did you know it was me?”

There was no way in hell Magnus would tell the truth.

“Your runes,” Magnus answered quickly. “The other one didn’t have them in the right places.” And he prayed for this piece of information to be correct because, to be honest, he didn’t check.

But then Alec smiled full of mirth and Magnus realized he had just put himself in another type of trouble.

“Oh, my, I didn’t realize you were paying so much attention to my runes, Magnus.”

Magnus slapped both Alec’s hands away from his shoulders and turned on his heels.

“We don’t have time for your foolishness. Isabelle was worried about you.” He started to walk, the laugh following him telling him that Alec was coming too. “She is leading everybody out of the building. Did the demon actually show you something or it was just a ruse?”

“No. Not a clue or anything.” Alec groaned. “It was an eidolon, though. Could it be part of the rituals?”

“It could be a starting point of sorts.” Magnus mused. “By the drawings, Weepers would look almost humane if not for the decaying part. I’m not sure yet how the time travel thing is connected, but it can wait.” Magnus replayed all the events in his head, seeing it fall into place like a puzzle. “You came here to understand what originated those demons and what unleashed them into the world…” Magnus whispered, almost talking only to himself. “It’s us.”

“What?”

“The wards were a safety measure, in case something happened and the demons escaped,” Magnus repeated Ragnor earlier assessment. “Maybe the eidolon was looking for the demons while trying to delay us. Maybe it found it and set it free, which triggered the wards. I could get rid of the ward, but the demons will be set free.”

“ _It is_ a historical fact that they escaped.” Alec seemed to reflect on Magnus theory. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” He pursed his lips, before saying in a low tone. “I didn’t know I would be the one to…”

“You are not responsible for this, Alec.” Magnus cut in, not wanting Alec to blame himself not even for a second. “This was already set in motion since the crash. Even before it, if you think about it. Maybe it was since the rock start to make its way to earth. You have no say in those events, but I’m sure way more people will survive this because you are here.”

Alec was about the answer when they turned into the great hall and he grabbed Magnus by the arm. It took Magnus an instant to comprehend the scene around him. But when he did, he didn’t need Alec’s whispered warning of ‘don’t blink’.

Their friends and the shadowhunters were surrounded by five demons of Alec’s journal drawings.

“Izzy, how long?” Alec asked his sister.

“A few minutes. I didn’t see them coming.” There was an anger in her voice and Magnus noticed there were a few shadowhunters missing.

“Can you guys get out of their circle? Magnus and I will keep an eye on them.”

“Try to keep looking at them,” Isabelle spoke in a soft tone to the others. “And try not to touch them. Move quickly.”

Magnus' eyes were burning with the effort of not blinking. He could only see from the corner of his eye Ragnor getting out. Desperately he wanted to check on his friend, but any second could be vital.

Alec pulled him by the arm and they walked slowly as Izzy guided the others to the stairs and waited for them in the steps.

“Magnus, when we get to the stairs, just run, okay?” Alec whispered. “Izzy and I will stay behind and keep an eye on those things to get you guys a head start.”

“What about you two?”

“We have our runes. We know how to evade those things, but if needed, we can travel in time ourselves. Just remember, if you run across them, don’t blink.”

“Easier said than done.”

By this point, they had reached Izzy, but Magnus couldn’t leave.

“Magnus, go.” Alec’s hand dropped by Magnus’ arm, and a shiver rushed through him before Alec grabbed his hand in a comforting squeeze. “We will be fine. I will see you soon.”

Magnus squeezed his hand back and after one more second of hesitation, he ran.

* * *

“We need to get out of here.” Magnus barely arrived on the top floor and was already taking action. “You and your team can keep a look for those creatures?” Magnus asked one of the shadowhunters, that sneered at him.

“We don’t take orders from the likes of you.”

“Then I hope they take you first.” Magnus rolled his eyes before going to Ragnor.

Slowly some shadowhunters took position and it was most of what he could hope for.

It was some time dedicated to bouncing off ideas about the best course of action, trying to find a plan that wouldn’t blow up to their faces, while fighting off some stray random demons with the shadowhunters, before they heard hurried steps in their direction. The shadowhunters raised their blades, but as soon they saw Alexander and Isabelle, they lowered their weapons.

“What are you still doing here?” Alec hissed. “You should keep moving.” He nodded to his sister when she just rolled her eyes and went to the shadowhunters, already barking orders.

“We will be running in circles forever, then.” Magnus turned to him, his heart beating fast for seeing him well. “We need a way to break the ward, but we don’t have the power to do so.”

“Why don’t you redirect its energy to the rift?” Alec said after a second. “I remember you saying you had done something like this.”

“Oh, God.” Magnus blinked twice, a possible spell coming to mind. He would have to combine one or two things, but it was possible. “Then we can fix the fracture!” Magnus laughed. “Alec, you are a genius, I could kiss you right now!”

Alec laughed with him. “Maybe when you’re older.” And without giving a second to Magnus even think about the meaning of his words, he moved on. “Izzy.” He called his sister, who hurried to him. “Let me deal with them, help Magnus, okay?” He kissed her forehead, before going to the group of shadowhunters.

“He seems... stressed.” Ragnor pointed out, just as confused as Magnus.

“Just since the day he was born.” Izzy laughed, but her eyes were following her brother. “What do you need for the spell?”

Magnus snapped his fingers and a box of chalk appeared in his hands, alongside a page with a drawing of an elaborate incantation circle. “How is your handiwork?”

“Clary taught me one or two things.” Isabelle opened the box. “I won’t be able to do any complex parts, but…”

“Don’t worry, just get to work, young lady.” Ragnor smiled kindly before getting some chalk himself.

The three of them put themselves to work, the faster they could while Alec positioned shadowhunters to keep an eye on diverse angles the demons could come from, taking care that there weren’t any blind spots.

“Alec usually is the type of leader that prefers to talk and achieve a middle ground, but he can't stand stupidity and recklessness,” Isabelle said after some loud shouting was heard from the end of the hall. “I know he had all that grumpy cat vibe, but honestly, he is a big softie.”

“... right.” Magnus didn't know what to say to that. He never gave much thought to shadowhunter leadership skills.

“He was really helpless in the kitchen, but he has been putting a lot of effort in getting better. I think he is the perfect family man.”

Magnus was more confused by the second. He looked to Ragnor, thinking he must have been just as confused, but Ragnor was just listening and watching Magnus full of amusement.

“And if you ask me, Alec just needs a little push and maybe some puppy eyes and he will accept to learn how to dance.” There was not stopping Izzy. She almost seemed a mother gushing about her son so he would get permission to initiate courtship.

“Izzy, what are you doing?” Magnus was so bewildered he didn't notice that Alec had approached, but for the look on his face, he heard enough.

“Well, you seemed a little sad that you and Magnus aren't really talking because spoilers, and I just wanted him to know you better!” Isabelle’s voice and smile were full of innocence and Magnus didn't trust it one bit.

And neither did Alec if his unimpressed glance was anything to go by. “Go back to work.”

“Killjoy.” Isabelle showed him her tongue and Catarina laughed. “Do you need anything else for this?” Izzy asked Magnus.

“No, my dear.” Magnus smiled at her, standing up and helping her to do the same. “You said he is always stressed like this?”

“He is the oldest. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” Izzy stopped, weighing her next words. “When we discovered this rune… He was the one to push for it to be used, you know? And his reasons… weren’t all scientific, so he takes upon himself that anyone gets hurt.”

“I see. Your brother seems to be a noble man.”

“Yeah, he is.” Isabelle smiled cheerfully. Then her smile turned mischievous. “And he is gorgeous, isn’t he? Us Lightwoods are really good looking, it’s almost unfair, I pity everyone else.”

Magnus barked a laugh.

“It was a real pleasure to meet you, Isabelle, you are a delight.” He said while standing and helping her to do the same.

“But not as delightful as Alec. I mean, have you seen his as…”

“Isabelle!” Alec called her from a few steps away from them, his face livid. “I swear, I can’t take you anywhere.”

“I was just trying to help.” Isabelle laughed when she rushed to her brother’s side.

“She is really an interesting girl.” Ragnor approached Magnus, being mindful to not be overheard by the siblings. “How do you think she was planning to embarrass Lightwood?”

“Who knows?” Magnus starting a laughing fit.

Ragnor rolled his eyes fondly, but Magnus could only see Alec almost laughing with him. Resisting the urge to just keep smiling at the shadowhunter, he turned to the circle.

“It’s not an easy spell and it can consume a lot of energy, but since you will help me, everything should be fine.” Magnus patted Ragnor’s shoulder, his voice still full of laugh.

“Izzy and I can lend our strength if needed,” Alec said while walking to Magnus. “There’s no reason to take risks.”

“Very well,” Ragnor spoke before Magnus could. “My fair lady, if you may.” Izzy smiled at Ragnor’s courtesy. “Just hold my shoulder or arm.”

Magnus turned to Alec, whispering to him.

“Are you sure?”

“About you?” Alec smiled in his lopsided way. “Always.”

“Then don’t let go of me,” Magnus said without thinking.

“Never.” Alexander grabbed him by the shoulders and stood at his back, leading Magnus to the correct position next to the circle. “I’m right here.”

Magnus closed his eyes, feeling the warmth from Alec’s hands in his arms, before reaching out for his core strength. He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this complete lack of resistance. He pulled and Alec just let go of the energy, without an ounce of hesitancy.

Then they started the spell.

The wind broke the windows, blowing up the candles on the walls. Magnus felt something arrive in the hall and heard Alec scream for people to keep their eyes open. The demons were there, but Magnus didn’t spare a thought to them. Alexander had his back and the only thing he had to worry about was breaking the wards so they could get out. He could feel the resistance of the wards, the instability of them like they were a living thing.

And he could feel them breaking.

There was a moment when a blinding light burned their eyes and Magnus closed his. He felt Alec pulling him, hugging him and pushing him to the ground like he was shielding him. The light. No one was watching the demons. No one could.

He heard screams that stopped abruptly, but Alec didn’t let go of him.

It could have been an eternity or it could have been five seconds. When Magnus recovered his eyesight, he was on the ground, Alec hovering over him. A few feet ahead, Ragnor was in his exact situation, but it wasn’t what almost stopped his heart.

Isabelle was staring at one of the Weepers who couldn’t be more than a few inches away of her.

“Izzy…” Alec called his sister, his voice trembling.

“I got this, Alec.” She hissed. “Mr. Fell, please, move away as quickly as you can.”

While Ragnor crawled away from the demon, Magnus risked a look around. Another demon was being stared at by other shadowhunters. Not a sign of the other three. There were fewer shadowhunters too.

“Magnus, up,” Alec whispered to him while helping him get up, seeing his sister was safe. “Did it work?”

“Yes.” Magnus shook his head, trying to clear it. “I can portal all of us out.”

“Open the portal then,” Alec instructed. “Everyone, just cross the portal as soon Magnus opens it.”

“I’m opening it for the town nearby.” Magnus waved his hands. It was a location he was sure everyone knew well. “Just keep a clear image of it in your heads when crossing it.”

Quickly the shadowhunters complied, for once not bothering to speak their suspicions about warlock magic. Ragnor hesitated for an instant, but after Magnus assuring him he would take care of everything Ragnor followed the nephilims.

“Where are the others?” Magnus asked, looking in multiple directions.

“Probably already escaped.” Izzy had retreated to next to her brother, each one staring at one demon. “It seems those two couldn’t resist the free food.”

“Well, dinner time is over.” Magnus sneered before pulling his portal over him, Alec and Izzy, taking them from there.

* * *

“You two were quite impressive back there.” Magnus approached Alec, not really sure why he was starting a conversation now that he knew Alec was about to leave and his life was going to go back on track.

He expected Alexander to joke back, or even be a little cocky about his compliment, but Alec just smiled with such joy that Magnus caught himself smiling back. It was so strange, this balance between them. They were on opposite sides of a bridge, walking towards each other, but destined to just cross paths in their way to the other side.

“Thanks,” Alec answered, playing with one of his arrows. They were back to the little town, everyone almost gone. “There was a moment that I really thought we wouldn’t make it. But you were brilliant, like always.”

“I try my very best, thank you.” Magnus allowed himself to be a little charming. But he had to voice a concern. “Everything is so complicated, Alec.”

“Tell me about it.” Alexander laughed, but it had a bitter undertone. “But not all of it will be bad. There’s a lot of good stuff coming too.”

“Well, you did just present to me a whole new species of demon to study.” Magnus gave in and smiled.

“Oh, right.” He turned to his backpack, that was at his feet. After rummaging through it, he emerged with a small notebook. “Take this. It’s my notes about this event. Maybe it will help you. I can’t wait to hear about your findings.” Alec said solemnly. “You were always a reliable author while I was writing my thesis.”

“My research will be used by a shadowhunter?” Magnus didn’t hide his surprise. “I wasn’t aware it was allowed.”

“It was never forbidden.” Alec shrugged. “It was one of those things no one even thought it would happen so they didn’t bother forbidding it.”

“The Clave exhausts me, I’m not going to lie.”

“Don’t worry.” Alec smiled, full of secrets. “You will give them just as good.”

“If you say so.” Magnus played with one of his rings. “I don’t know what to say.” He laughed. “You never… We never got to say goodbye in such a peaceful way. Something was always happening.”

“I don’t know how to say goodbye to you either.” The longing in Alec’s eyes was almost unbearable to witness.

“You will see me again soon,” Magnus promised, even if he didn’t know if it was true.

“You will be angry at me.”

“Just at the very end.” Magnus sighed again. “I’m starting to think I will never be able to be angry at you for long.”

“It’s one of my greatest joys.” Alec smiled while pulling up his sleeve.

“You won’t wait for Isabelle?”

Alec opened his mouth, but no words came out. His eyes went to something behind Magnus that turned his head to see Izzy standing a little way from them, giving them privacy, but holding her backpack in a clear sign it was time to go.

“Magnus, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Magnus smiled, hoping that Alec wouldn’t notice how fake it was. “Sometimes I don’t know what to expect from you, that’s all. I’m sorry I lashed out.”

“It’s okay.” Alec didn’t seem fooled. “You can always tell me how you feel.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say to that. The idea of being open to Alec it was as tempting as it was terrifying.

“Well, I won’t hold you on much longer.” He took a step back. “Dr. Lightwood, it was a pleasure.”

Alec made a show of looking around the destroyed town and the crumbling castle.

“Was it?” He arched an eyebrow, and Magnus laughed without a care.

“An occasional life or death situation is good. Keeps the blood rushing.”

“If you say so.” Alec smiled shyly for some reason, but his smile fell off when he looked at Isabelle’s direction again.

“Go,” Magnus whispered. “I will be fine.”

Alec looked at him for a long moment and Magnus felt his heartbeat speed it up. It was his soul being laid bare without his permission, but also without his resistance. Maybe there was no point in fighting the gravity of Alexander Lightwood.

“You will see me again in thirteen years.” He said, softly. “Just… wait for me.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say to that. Alec was about to leave, and it was what he wanted, but he wanted to know so much. So, of course, he had to run his mouth. “Are you married, Alec?”

“Excuse me?” Alec’s eyes widened in surprise, but there was an amused smile on his lips.

“It’s just… when we talked, you never denied being married, just said you would never have accepted marry a woman so…” Magnus made his best to downplay his interest. “Are you? Married?”

“Are you asking?” Alec smiled smugly, clearly having fun with Magnus putting a foot in his mouth.

Magnus pursed his lips, something in Alec’s expression making him want to nervously laugh. “Yes.” He said, without much thought.

“Yes,” Alec answered back, simply.

Magnus started to nod when something came to mind. “Wait, do you think I was asking you to marry me,” this time he did laugh nervously. “Or asking if you are married?”

“Yes,” Alec said again, his smile growing.

“But this is a yes or _yes_?” Magnus was more confused by the second.

Alec took a step in his direction, the distance between them too close to be considered proper.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Who are you?” Magnus whispered back, almost in a trance.

“You will find out soon enough, I guess.” Alec’s smiled turned sad. “And that’s when everything changes.”

Alec didn’t say anything else. For a second, there was this tension on his body and Magnus could feel that Alec wanted to touch him somehow. He was relieved and disappointed when Alexander just grabbed his things and walked away, to Isabelle.

Izzy smiled at him and waved, uncertainty on her face. Maybe she didn’t know what to say either. She was the first to activate the rune and disappear in the flash of light and a sizzling sound.

Alec looked at him again, hesitating.

“Thirteen years,” Magnus said to him.

Alec closed his eyes and activated his rune.

* * *

Magnus always liked preparing his tea in a mundane way. He used magic for most of his chores, but tea was something he enjoyed preparing by hand, the process of it almost as relaxing as drinking it. Now that he was back home, he saw himself relying on this little ritual with more care, trying to process everything that happened.

Meeting Alec was a confusion of feelings like always, but at the same time, he saw himself trusting the shadowhunter in some moments. Now, reading the notes he left, seeing a glimpse of how his mind organized information, seeing how he treated academic matters, Magnus could see how they could work together.

Alec loved his archeological science just like Magnus loved his magic science.

“Where is your mind at, my friend?” Ragnor entered Magnus’ bedroom, with a smile. “Dare I say, years in the future?”

“I will choose not to comment on this change of heart of yours, Ragnor.” Magnus rolled his eyes but poured some tea for Ragnor when he sat beside him on the chairs next to the window. Magnus almost pointed out that Ragnor was too approving of Alec after spending years trying to convince Magnus to not care. But after hearing that exchange between them, Magnus wasn’t in a hurry to find out what Ragnor had to say now. It was a shift he hadn’t predicted. Ragnor’s dislike for everything connected to this plot was the last reign Magnus had on himself. He didn’t know what to do without it.

“Good.” Ragnor simply said, accepting the tea. “I don’t think I would be able to explain it to you. I don’t think I would have the words. It’s something that has to been seen and lived and it’s not time yet.”

“Did Alec truly render you speechless?” Magnus teased, hiding his smile behind his cup. “He is surely growing on me more and more.”

“You are insufferable.” Ragnor barked, shaking his head. “How is the research going?”

“Slow.” Magnus didn’t mind the change of subject. “But this doesn’t surprise me. It will take a while to just understand how those things were created. How did the High Council react?”

“Lots of warlocks won’t be holding any teaching position for another millennium or any other high position for that matter. But they are luckier than those that were arrested by The Clave.”

“The Clave has to stop meddling in our business and the High Council should do something about it.” Magnus scoffed. “Spiral Labyrinth has to be the place that holds the biggest assemble of warlocks in the world, and yet we don’t hear any talks of making any changes.”

“The warlocks aren’t a nation. The High Council merely votes who should be High Warlock and supervises the university. Warlocks are independent creatures. It's been like this for millennia, even before the shadowhunters were created.

Magnus tapped his cup with his finger, before setting it down. “Maybe it’s time for some change, then.”

“What needs changing is not the warlocks, Magnus.”

“The Clave is beyond our control. We should change what we can. It may be the start of something bigger.” He got more passionate by the second. “We are always saying how much we hate the Clave, but so far, what have we been doing about it? And it’s not just the warlocks, it's the whole downworld. We are scattered, not sure on what to rely on when we should be relying on each other.”

“You are talking in changing social rules that have been around since the beginning of times, Magnus.” Ragnor alerted him, but Magnus knew his friend and knew that glint in his eyes.

“Everything has to start somewhere.” He shrugged. “Maybe it can start in the Spiral Labyrinth.”

“Now I see why Catarina is so sure about you having a great potential for High Warlock.”

“Let’s not get carried away.” Magnus grabbed his cup of tea back. “I’m a professor. I want to inspire my students and make them realize what they could do if they joined forces to do something other than having a good time in London or Paris.”

“Good luck with that.” Ragnor laughed before finishing his tea. “I will retreat for the night. Sleep well.” He stood and made his way to the door.

“You too, my little cabbage.” Magnus laughed to the face Ragnor made.

“Don’t call me that.” And he was gone.

Magnus finished his tea, feeling content. He sent his china to the kitchen with a wave of his hand before he moved to his desk. As usual, Alec’s journal was there. Magnus didn’t like to be parted with it, but taking it with him everywhere wasn’t possible. He followed the forget-me-nots in the cover with his fingers. It was strange to look at it and the first thing in his mind not to be anguish.

Putting it at the side for the moment, Magnus grabbed a journal of his own. He still wasn’t sure about Alec. But he was starting to have an idea of who they were going to be and Magnus was more terrified than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me know what yall think!! leave some kudos, or you can reach out on twitter (@staywithmemalec), im always there crying about his ship

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked! pls leave some kudos and/or a comment! i would love to hear what you guy think! and pls dont hate me, remember the tags! the tags!


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